Ask our experts Q&A: clingy children, only children, breast feeding

Health Q&A

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Worried about OTC medicine?

Medical experts in the US have suggested that some over-the-counter cough and cold remedies could be dangerous for under-twos if the instructions aren’t followed to the letter. A spokesperson for the Proprietary Association of Great Britain, which represents manufacturers of OTC medicines, agrees that cough and cold remedies are safe as long as the correct dose is given. So should we be worried?

‘A recent study in America generated concerns about the safety of some over-the-counter medicines for children. As a result, some have been withdrawn for use in the under-twos. In the study, the group of children who had attended the emergency department had exceeded the recommended dose: this was mostly due to unsupervised overdose. The group of medicines included those with expectorants for coughs, decongestants and some of the sedating antihistamines found in night-time preparations.

’To avoid problems like this, make sure you keep medicines out of reach of children; are giving the correct single dose (and total in 24 hours) for the child’s age and weight; and if using more than one product ensure they do not contain the same ingredients.

‘I suggest that you keep things simple and use single agent preparations such as infant ibuprofen or paracetamol syrups for fever and aches and pains. There’s little evidence that cough preparations have any real benefit anyway and you should avoid using night-time preparations to sedate your child. If you’re concerned about your child’s symptoms, consult your GP.’

http://www.fda.gov/cder/drug/podcast/otc_cough_cold_full.htm
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/94703.php 


Q answered by Jackie Walsh

Q My three-year-old son has recently started going to playgroup in the mornings. Every day when I leave him, he clings to me and we both end up in tears. How can I make things easier for both of us?

Going to playgroup is a big transition for you and your son and it’s understandable that you’re both finding the separation difficult. A lot of playgroups suggest that for the first few weeks, parents stay with their child to help them settle in.

Once children are used to the new environment, they should be fine when their parent leaves, and this is usually the case, with most children settling quickly after initial tears. 

If you didn’t stay with your son at first, ask the playgroup leaders whether this is possible. If it’s not, explain to your son that he’s going to playgroup and you will be leaving him there, but you will return to pick him up at the end of the session.

Get to the playgroup in good time each morning, so you can hand your son over to an adult play worker. When you get there make the parting swift, leave him with a smile and tell him again that you’ll be back to pick him up soon.

Your son will soon acclimatise to the situation and will be fine once you’re out of sight. Good luck! JW

Q answered by Gladeana McMahon

Q Is it selfish to only have one child? Our daughter is three and I’m just starting to enjoy being a mum instead of finding it all a struggle. Will she end up being spoilt or, worse still, lonely?

There’s nothing selfish about choosing to only have one child. The alternative, to have a second child because you think you should, is not a good reason to bring a little one into the world. 

If you and your husband both feel the same way, then that is your decision and you’re entitled to make it.

There are advantages and disadvantages in being an only child. For example, you have more time to devote to your daughter. However, she may not learn to socialise as well with her peer group unless you ensure she has lots of contact with other children her own age.

And remember, your daughter will only end up spoilt if you spoil her, which you are likely to do if you feel guilty about her not having siblings and compensate by giving her too many material things or giving in to her every request.

Will she be lonely? As long as you are prepared to arrange more play dates and sleep-overs than you would do if she had siblings, she should be fine. She may feel lonely sometimes, but she will also learn how to become more resourceful and self-sufficient, which can only be a good thing. GM

Q answered by Su Laurent

Q My daughter is two and a half and although she’s not overweight, she’s hungry all the time and is always asking for food. I give her snacks between meals, but I’m worried about the effect on her teeth: I can’t clean them every time she eats something. What can I do?

A Children go through growth spurts and sometimes do seem to be hungry constantly. Make sure she has a good breakfast and then limit snacks to one mid-morning and another mid-afternoon.

Try to stick to healthy snacks such as fruit and vegetables and make sure she drinks plenty of water. Keep sweets and crisps for special occasions only. You only need to clean her teeth twice a day and avoiding foods and drinks with a high sugar content (especially sticky nibbles such as raisins) will protect the enamel.

If she refuses healthy snacks, she’s probably bored rather than hungry, so try distracting her with playing games and colouring. SL

Q answered by Katie Fisher

Q My mother-in-law told me I should wind my six-month-old breastfed daughter after every feed because if I don’t, she could get colic. The problem is that every time I wind her, she deposits a huge posset on my shoulder. I feel as if she’s regurgitating most of her feed. Should I carry on winding or not?

It’s not necessary to ‘wind’ breastfed babies in the same way that it is often necessary for bottlefed babies. Breastfed babies swallow very little air during the feed as their mouth forms a tight seal with the breast and their suckling action is different to bottle-fed babies’.

After feeding your baby, simply support her in an upright position. This allows the weight of the feed to settle in the stomach, displacing any air that is present. As a result of this, your baby may produce a burp, but there’s no need to induce one by vigorous back patting and rubbing.

As you have observed, this only causes her to bring up some of her feed. There’s no evidence that not winding babies causes colic. However, if you try ‘winding’ as I’ve suggested and your baby continues to posset after feeds, please see your GP as she may be refluxing (regurgitating stomach contents), which may need treatment. KF

Q answered by Su Laurent

Q My three-year-old son is speaking quite fluently, but he’s recently started lisping. Should I wait and see if he grows out of it, try to help him myself or seek advice from my GP?

A Many three year olds lisp and for most of these it is a natural stage in learning how to talk. Gradually they learn to pronounce words more clearly by copying others. If your son’s speech is very indistinct, it’s worth asking your GP’s advice to rule out hearing problems. Some children also have a physical reason for lisping, such as a tongue tie.

You can help your child by repeating back his words clearly. If you remain concerned that his speech is not improving, talk to your GP about whether a referral to a speech therapist would be helpful. SL

Q answered by Andrea Grace

Q How can I get my 13-month-old son to sleep for longer than three hours at a time? I always do the night shift because I’m still breastfeeding and although it’s exhausting, I find the only way to get him back to sleep is to feed him. What do you think?

Your baby no longer requires night breastfeeds for nutritional reasons. He is now feeding as a sleep trigger. The key to helping him to sleep through lies in the way that you put him to sleep at the beginning of the night.

You need to follow a consistent, loving bedtime routine and then offer him his final feed of the day. Do this with the light on and stop feeding before he falls asleep.

To break the milk/sleep connection, look at a picture book together before turning off the light and putting him into his cot while he’s still awake. Remain beside him until he drops off. Each time he wakes during the night, go to him and sit and reassure him, without feeding him or getting him out of the cot.

It will take two or three nights for him to learn how to settle without feeding. Hopefully, that will stop him waking, but you might need to spend another two or three nights reducing your contact with him both at bedtime - allowing him to fall asleep on his own - and during the night when he wakes. Either way, the whole process should take no longer than a week.

One word of warning: don’t undo all the good you have done during the night, by feeding him back to sleep if he wakes at 5am! AG

Q answered by Anne Deans

Q When my two-year-old son was born, I had a very long, difficult labour, culminating in both Ventouse and forceps. I’m pregnant again and would like an elective caesarean: am I entitled to request this?

Giving birth for the first time can involve a long, painful labour. Health professionals recognise that the experience for some women can be traumatic and leave women feeling scared about giving birth again. I’m sure your request for an elective Caesarean will be viewed sympathetically.

But remember that second time around labour is usually more straightforward: contractions are stronger so labour is quicker and statistically the chances of needing forceps or Ventouse are much less likely. It is perfectly possible to have a positive vaginal birth despite a previous unhappy one.

Explain your concerns to your midwife. It may help to go through the hospital notes from your previous birth with her or your doctor so you can understand why it was so difficult and write a birth plan to address those issues.

Ensure that your birth partner is involved in the discussion. Some hospitals offer psychological counselling after difficult births; if yours does not, then consider contacting The Birth Trauma Association (www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk) for help and advice. AD

4 ways to… beat the baby blues

It’s natural as a new mum to feel down sometimes, especially if you’re exhausted looking after a newborn. Try a little TLC to boost your mood

1 Ask for and accept practical and emotional help and support from your partner, family and friends.

2 Take it easy: motherhood is a steep learning curve, so don’t expect to master breastfeeding, nappy changing and your new sling in a week. (If you get dressed and clean your teeth we reckon you deserve a medal.)

3 Eat well every day: avocados and bananas are great mood-boosters, while dark chocolate is rich in iron (any excuse…) and drink plenty of fluids.

4 Rest whenever you can (nap while your baby sleeps) and ignore the housework. Most new mums feel weepy in the very early days but if you still feel down and unable to cope weeks or months after your baby’s birth, don’t bottle it up: tell your partner, midwife, health visitor or GP how you’re feeling as you may need treatment for postnatal depression.