Everything you need to know about baby talking

You wait for them with baited breath: that first gummy smile, the delighted squeal, the first word (you hope it’ll be ‘mama’… it tends to be ‘dada’). These signals tell you your baby knows who you are – a reward for all your hard work.
But long before uttering her first word, your baby is telling you all about her needs. ‘People assume that until a child starts to talk, she can’t communicate,’ says speech and language therapist Kate Freeman. ‘But from birth, your baby is tuned in to your voice and instinctively wants to communicate with you.’

But despite babies’ inbuilt drive to interact, many children find those first communication tricks hard to grasp. Recent figures suggest that in some areas of the UK, over 50% start school without the required level of skill.
Over the next few pages, we’ve put together a comprehensive guide to how your baby learns to communicate and how you can help her. So get talking – it’s the most important skill you’ll ever teach her.

Your newborn

How your baby communicates

OK, so he may not do much apart from sleep, feed and fill his nappy, but from the earliest days your child is learning to communicate. ‘A baby is born to be sociable,’ says Liz Attenborough, from the National Literacy Trust’s Talk To Your Baby campaign. ‘He’s programmed to seek out faces, make eye contact and will know your voice from hearing it daily in his time in the womb, which he’ll prefer to all others.’

Your baby can even recognise music he’s heard many times before he was even born. Research from the University of Belfast found that newborns could pick up on tunes their mothers had listened to while pregnant, the most commonly recognised being – wait for it – the theme tune from Neighbours. 

At first, crying is your baby’s main form of communication and, make no mistake, he’s trying to tell you something. For example, a fussy, moaning cry might mean he’s hungry, while a shrill scream is him telling you he’s in some kind of pain. He can also use his limited body language to let you know what he wants, whether that’s milk (‘rooting’ for breast or bottle with an open mouth) or sleep (flailing limbs, yawning and rubbing his face).

Communicating with your baby

It’s never too soon to start talking to your newborn. ‘Some people find this awkward but you’re the trigger that gets all his communication skills working,’ says Liz. Get up close – babies love looking at faces, but can only focus on objects up to 25cm away, roughly the distance between your elbow and wrist.

Even when he’s this tiny you can start to teach your baby about the two-way nature of communication. ‘When your baby stops suckling during a feed, use this pause to say something, such as “Is that nice?”,’ suggests Kate. ‘This helps him learn about responding to people.’

If your baby has a dummy, try not to let him become too dependent on it. ‘We often think that if a baby is making a noise, he has to be quiet,’ says Kate. ‘But overusing a dummy during wakeful periods makes it difficult for him to practise making sounds.’

Your baby at 1-3 months

How your baby communicates

That very first gummy grin is likely to be driven by wind but, at around six weeks, your baby will start to smile for real. This smile is powerful stuff: research from the Texas Children’s Hospital shows that it fires a response in the ‘reward centre’ of the mother’s brain, delivering a natural high.

Even when your baby is this tiny, he is aware of your facial expressions. ‘Small babies already understand and notice the difference between happy and sad faces,’ says independent speech and language therapist Sarah Illingworth*. ‘They’re also starting to make their first expressive noises, forming open vowel sounds, like laughing and cooing – the very beginnings of speech sounds.’

As your baby develops head control he’ll start to react physically to familiar voices, moving his head to follow the sound. ‘A baby learns by imitation,’ says Liz. ‘Even though he can’t produce many speech sounds at this stage, you’ll notice him copying your mouth movements, which develops his mouth and tongue in readiness for speech.’

Communicating with your baby

The chances are you naturally talk to your newborn in an exaggerated, high-pitched, sing-song tone of voice. This pattern of speech – known as motherese – really attracts your baby’s attention. ‘Using short, simple sentences and a softer, more upbeat voice is known to boost understanding and language development,’ says Liz. It’s the kind of sound your baby wants to listen to.

When you’re chatting to your child, remember one thing: keep smiling. ‘A baby is incredibly receptive to emotion and expression and the more you smile at him, the more he’ll smile back,’ says Liz. ‘It’s the start of a two-way conversation.’ A smiley mother makes a smiley baby. Research from the University of Helsinki found that if you fail to respond to your baby’s grin with one of your own, his expression will disappear and he’ll eventually turn away and start to cry.
Use your daily routine to introduce words that will stick in his mind. ‘If you use the same set of phrases at every nappy change, for example, “Trousers on, one leg, two legs”, and repeat them five or six times a day, he’ll start to understand that the words relate to the actions,’ says Kate.

Your baby at 3-6 months

How your baby communicates

Your baby is becoming aware that talking is a two-way process. ‘He’ll start to use noises to get your attention and respond with coos and gurgles when you speak to him,’ says Sarah. ‘He’ll also understand simple words – for example, if you say “Up you come!”, it’s likely he’ll adapt his body language by arching his back ready to be picked up.’

Increasingly aware of who and what is around him, your baby will start to smile and laugh spontaneously. ‘Now, when you talk, he’ll watch your lips rather than your whole face, to work out where the sound is coming from,’ Sarah says. He’ll also begin to imitate you if you stick out your tongue or make a face.

Your child’s understanding of emotion is also growing. ‘Babies respond to extreme tones of voice, becoming excited if you’re animated and happy, and crying if you shout,’ says Sarah. They also mirror facial expressions; American researchers found that a baby would cry if confronted by an angry face, smile at a happy one and make soothing, sucking noises in response to a sad face.

Communicating with your baby

Once your baby has started those cute little coos and raspberries, talking to each other becomes more of a give-and-take process. ‘Wait until he pauses, then reply with something like, “Isn’t that interesting!”,’ suggests Liz. This sets up the turn-taking pattern of conversation. You can also copy his sounds to help him understand that if you repeat his noises, he can copy yours, too.

Keep background noise to a minimum to help him concentrate and learn. ‘If your baby is bombarded with distractions such as the TV, he won’t know what to listen to,’ says Kate.

Once your baby can sit, start sharing simple picture books. You can read anywhere, at any time, but research from Cambridge University shows that children who have a regular bedtime story have more developed language skills by the time they start school.

When you go out, consider putting your baby in a parent-facing buggy. Research last year, funded by the Literacy Trust, found that mothers who use parent-facing pushchairs talk to their babies twice as much as those buggies where their babies face out to the world. ‘As you’re walking, point out the things you see so your baby learns to associate the sight and the sound,’ says Kate. You can do that whichever way your pushchair faces.

Your baby at 6-9 months

How your baby communicates

This is a time when your baby learns all kinds of new skills, such as sitting or crawling, and these free him up. ‘He’ll start to use body language more, such as moving to music and lifting his arms to be picked up,’ says Sarah. ‘His facial expressions will become more animated and he’ll become wildly excited if you play a game such as peek-a-boo.’
Somewhere around eight months most babies start to babble, making those cute repetitive consonant sounds. ‘The first sounds tend to be m, p, b, t and d, as these are the easiest to say,’ says Kate. Babies join these together in sequences, such as da-da and ba-ba.

Another key development around this time is recognising and responding to his own name. ‘A child can usually do this by nine months, which is the stage where any hearing difficulties may become apparent,’ says Sarah.

Communicating with your baby

Chat to him throughout the day, giving him a running commentary as you make his lunch, for example. ‘Whenever you see him showing an interest in something, take the opportunity to talk to him about it,’ says Kate. ‘If, for example, the doorbell rings and he looks up, say, “Oh, it’s the doorbell,” so he connects the word with the object.’

And keep those nursery rhymes coming. ‘Songs like Row, Row, Row help your baby to understand that talking and singing are exciting, and the actions reinforce the words,’ says Kate.

As your baby starts to babble, copying those sounds will show him how to take turns. Encourage him to repeat them. ‘At nine months, “dada” is just a random sound your baby makes, but if you reinforce it by making a fuss and saying, “Clever boy! Yes! It’s Daddy!” then pointing to Daddy, he will start to associate that sound with the person and it becomes a word,’ says Kate. Always use your baby’s name, when you talk to him. “Is this Joe’s teddy?’, for example.

Your baby at 9-12 months

How your baby communicates

Your baby is increasingly using gestures to communicate. ‘He may start pointing, waving, shaking his head and clapping,’ says Sarah. He may also understand simple words, such as “no” (although he might choose to ignore this one) and recognise the names of family members.

Chances are your baby will probably be tunefully babbling away now and even combining two different sounds, like ‘ba-da’. You may also find him starting to imitate the sounds you make, such as coughs and animal noises.

A few babies say their first words around now, but these are usually what’s known as ‘proto-words’ – a shortened or simplified version, used in context (such as ‘muh’ for ‘milk’). If you respond to these sounds and repeat the word back correctly, these proto-words will, in time, become the real thing.

Communicating with your baby

To boost your baby’s vocabulary, pay attention to him. ‘Watch to see what he’s interested in and talk to him about what he’s focused on; there’s no point describing what’s going on outside the window if he’s absorbed in a toy,’ says Kate.
Repetition is key. ‘Babies learn by hearing a word again and again and then making the connection between that word and the object it refers to,’ says Liz. Making your baby repeat a word back to you doesn’t really work, though. ‘It’s much better to go to feed the ducks in the park, then come home and point out ducks in a picture book,’ says Liz.

To develop the listening skills your child will need in conversation, try playing music, making animal noises or catching his attention with a musical toy. Don’t overly rely on educational DVDs, however. Research from the University of Washington shows DVDs can actually slow down speech development. There’s no substitute for being spoken to by you.

Your baby at 12-18 months

How your baby communicates

All babies are different, but most say their first precious word at around 12 months. ‘First words evolve from babbling,’ says Sarah. ‘They generally involve quite simple sounds and relate to things that are important to the baby – for example, Mama, Dada or a version of bottle.’

Your baby will use physical skills to communicate with you. He might bring you his cup when he’s thirsty or grab your hand and take you to look at something. Gestures are useful, too; he may point to something he wants.
As anyone who’s ever tried to learn another language will know, his understanding of language will exceed his verbal ability. ‘But your baby should know his name by now, and is likely to be able to follow simple instructions like, “Get your shoes”,’ Sarah explains.

Communicating with your baby

Positive reinforcement is the key when your baby starts forming words. ‘If he makes a sound that vaguely resembles a word, give him lots of praise and repeat the word back to him correctly,’ says Kate.

If he points at something, tell him what it is – “Yes, that’s your teddy.” ‘Keep on making the connection between words and objects and he’ll start to make it too,’ Liz says. Still chat to him about what you’re doing (‘Mummy is putting on her coat’) to help him link more words to the world around him.

At this age, babies love music and dancing, and nursery rhymes help to build his vocabulary. Songs such as The Wheels On The Bus are particularly good because the actions reinforce the words and help them to sink in.

Your baby at 18-24 months

How your baby communicates

Most children have at least a few words by 18 months and some can even join them together in simple sentences. ‘This speech may still not be recognisable to anyone outside the family, but as long as sounds are used consistently and in context, they still count,’ says Kate. For example if your baby always and exclusively calls a fire engine a ‘whoo- whoo’, then that’s his word for it.

Babies also generalise, grouping similar objects together under one umbrella term and using the same word to refer to a number of different objects. For example, he might say ‘car’ to refer to a lorry too, or ‘dog’ for all animals he sees with four legs.

Your child’s understanding is still way beyond the words that come out of his mouth. He’ll become increasingly able to follow instructions, such as pointing to body parts on demand, and as his attention span increases he’ll absorb more and more words by listening to people. Be warned, though: like a parrot, he’ll repeat anything and everything he hears.

Communicating with your baby

Your baby will still charmingly mispronounce many words but, rather than correcting him, just make sure you use the word correctly yourself. If, for example, he says ‘tup’, you could reply, ‘Oh, you want your cup.’ You can build his vocabulary by asking questions that require something other than a yes/no answer, such as, ‘Would you like a drink of milk or water?’
Don’t expect too much of your baby, even at this stage. ‘It’s important to keep using short, simple sentences, giving him the chance to understand,’ says Kate. ‘If you overcomplicate matters with long explanations, he won’t keep up.’
Finally, keep language fun. ‘Watch him, talk about the things that interest him and let him express himself,’ says Sarah.

Baby Signing

This evolved from a study in the late 80s, which showed that babies who were exposed to sign language alongside normal speech – ie, those who had one deaf parent and one with normal hearing – had a better understanding of language than their peers.

‘By using signs and saying the word at the same time, babies make the link between the word, the sign and the object they refer to,’ says Katie Mayne, founder of the baby signing programme TinyTalk. Signs include clenching a hand in a squeezing motion to indicate milk, or putting a hand to their mouth to indicate food.

You can start signing from birth and, if you’re consistent, your baby may make her first signs as early as six months. But most babies start signing between 12 and 18 months. ‘Signing lets children express themselves before they can speak, resulting in less frustration and fewer tantrums,’ says Katie.