Health professionals advice on parenting

Do health professionals always follow their own advice? We reveal the lessons they learnt when they became parents

Do breastfeeding counsellors ever feed their babies formula? Does Annabel Karmel feed her children chicken nuggets? And how do GPs get eye drops into their own kids’ eyes?

It’s one thing for health experts to offer advice, but when faced with their own children, do they crumble? Here’s what they discovered when they had kids of their own…

The GP

Dr Philippa Ridley is mum to Sam, six, and Barney, four

What was the best health advice you were given as a mum?: No-one gave me any – they thought I knew it all, but they don’t teach motherhood at medical school! I found the best all-round advice myself, from the book Toddler Taming by Dr Christopher Green.

What’s your top tip: Look after your own health. Motherhood can be physically and mentally exhausting, but if you take care of yourself and rest when possible you’ll do a better job.

Do you always practise what you preach? With my second child, I stopped sterilising bottles after six months, which goes against general advice. I simply washed them thoroughly – by then, he was putting every toy into his mouth and it didn’t seem logical. He never got ill.

Like all mums, I find giving medicine a nightmare. I resorted to waiting until my sons were asleep to get eye drops in! Syringes are a good way to give medicine to babies.

What would you do differently if you had a baby now? I’m about to find out – I’m expecting my third in January. I don’t think you can plan too much because every child is different. I’m more in favour of working out feeding and sleeping patterns around their needs, rather than sticking to a strict regime.

The healthy eating expert

Annabel Karmel is mum to Nicholas, 17, Lara, 15, and Scarlett, 13, and author of
Annabel Karmel’s Top 100 Baby Purées (Ebury Press, £8.99)

Best advice: The best advice came from my son, Nicholas, who was a fussy eater.

He taught me that you have to make food taste great – it’s no good if it’s healthy, but tastes dreadful. Kids are only interested in how it tastes, not how good it is for them.

Top tip: Start as you mean to go on. If you feed your baby fresh, healthy, home-made food from the beginning, that’s what they’ll develop a liking for. As they get older, making food look good is important. If I leave fruit whole in a fruit bowl, that’s where it stays. But if I slice it on a plate so it looks colourful and tempting, my kids can’t get it in quick enough!

Practise what you preach? Yes, but I’m not a purist. I advocate a healthy, well-balanced diet, and mine do. I’m not saying children should never have a burger or a bag of crisps, as long as their overall diet is good.

What would you do differently? Give my children meat much earlier so they got plenty of iron. The advice used to be to wait until 10 months, but a baby’s iron reserves, which they get from their mother during pregnancy, run out from six months. Then they need to start getting iron from food.

The health visitor

Jackie Walsh is mum to Michael, 16, and Alice, 10

Best advice: When Michael was four weeks, he had colic and I was exhausted. My own health visitor had to remind me that I needed to look after myself, as well as my baby. It’s easy to forget about yourself when you’re a new mum.

Top tip: Don’t expect to be perfect. Parents stress out too much about what they’re doing wrong, but don’t congratulate themselves on all they’re doing right.

Practise what you preach? Not always! I found following my own advice about temper tantrums very difficult. It’s one thing knowing that it’s better to ignore them, but actually doing it is hard. Those experiences have hopefully made me a more realistic health visitor.

What would you do differently? Worry less about doing everything ‘right’, and remember to cherish the time – it goes so quickly.

The dentist

Jane Moore is mum to Jack, 17, and Nina, 14

Best advice: When I had my children, new mums were given very little dental advice. Dentists usually don’t see children until it’s too late and they have decay.
Fortunately, I knew what to do because of my training.

Top tip: Avoid sugar – for at least the first three years, if possible. If babies don’t have sugar, they don’t get decay and the longer you avoid it, the stronger and healthier their teeth will be. Sugary drinks in bottles and sugary substances like honey on dummies are the worst. They prolong the length of time the sugar is in contact with the teeth.

Practise what you preach? To the letter, and neither of my children has a single cavity. I’ve seen too many damaged teeth not to take my own advice seriously.

What would you do differently? I’d do exactly the same again – ban sugar for at least three years, then restrict sweets to once a week. And I make sure my children brush their teeth religiously after breakfast and last thing at night.

The paediatrician

Su Laurent is mum to Alex, 15, Emily, seven, and Eddie, four

Best advice: First time round I struggled with breastfeeding and gave up after eight weeks. With my second child, I asked one of the nurses at work in the neonatal ward to show me how to position the baby. With her help it was much easier and I fed my next two children until they were six months.

Top tip: Go with your instincts. If you relax, you’ll do a wonderful job.

Practise what you preach? Hardly ever! My worst offence was with food. At work, I’d be saying to mums, ‘Who’s in charge here, you or your child?’ At home, I’d cook a meal for my kids, they’d say they didn’t want it, so I’d rustle up something else!

What would you do differently? Take all offers of help. I tried to do everything myself. After having three children I can see the benefits of accepting any assistance.

The sleep specialist

Andrea Grace is an expert in child sleep problems, and mum to William, 13, Celia, 11, Theo, nine, and Annabel, six

Best advice: After I’d had my first baby, my community midwife told me not to get stressed about a routine in the early weeks, and sleep when my new baby was sleeping. It stopped me becoming exhausted and gave me a chance to really bond with my baby.

Top tip: When your baby is able to sleep for a three-hour stretch in the evening, begin a bedtime routine. Make sure you put your baby down to sleep after the final feed when she is still awake. Doing this allows her to develop independent sleep skills, and to be able to resettle without you when she wakes in the night.

Practise what you preach? I try to. I strive for a happy and consistent bedtime scenario, and my children have always fallen asleep without help. I’ve never felt comfortable with controlled crying. I tried it with my first child and ended up more upset than him! Now I realise that it’s enough to place a baby in the cot awake and to stay close by as she settles. Once a baby realises that the cot is a safe place, it becomes easier to gradually withdraw.

What would you do differently? Nothing. By the time I had my fourth baby I was very well practised in sleep techniques! I was confident enough to put her in her cot awake and not worry about a bit of fussing. She slept through the night from a very early age and was the best sleeper of all my children.

The breastfeeding counsellor

Anne Humphreys is an NCT breastfeeding counsellor and mum to William, 10, and Daniel, seven

Best advice: When William was one and I was planning to stop breastfeeding, another mum suggested that if I wanted to drop a breastfeed, I should avoid the place where it usually happened. For instance, after lunch we used to have a feed on the sofa, so instead, I started going out so William didn’t notice he was missing a feed. After a few days he’d forgotten all about it.

Top tip: Spend lots of time holding your baby in the early days. It helps you tune into him and makes breastfeeding easier. It also means that when your baby wants a feed, she’s in the right place and won’t be kept waiting, which can make her upset and unable to latch on.

Practise what you preach? I don’t ‘preach’ anything! Breastfeeding counsellors don’t push breastfeeding; we just offer support and information. I never gave my babies formula, but I’ve counselled women who’ve continued to breastfeed in situations where I know I wouldn’t have been able to.

It’s made me realise that each of us does the best we can for our children. I was lucky to get the help I needed to breastfeed for as long as I wanted.

What would you do differently? I did do things differently the second time. When I had problems feeding Daniel, I got help straightaway. With William, I persevered for days on my own. Looking back, I wish I’d phoned someone sooner.

The obstetrician

Anne Deans is mum to Fergus, 12

Best advice: Not to feel a wimp about having an epidural during labour. That advice came from my husband, who’s a consultant anaesthetist. I was determined to avoid pain relief, but when it came to the crunch, the contractions were too painful. I’ll always remember the warm glow when the epidural started to work and the pain went. I really enjoyed the rest of my labour.

Top tip: Remember that every labour is different and you can’t predict what’s going to happen. If things don’t go as you hoped, never feel disappointed. You’re the proud parent of the most wonderful baby in the universe and that’s all that matters.

Practise what you preach? I always advise patients to get as much sleep as possible and avoid too many visitors in the days after delivery. However, I ignored this advice completely and dashed around doing the housework, as well as entertaining family and friends.

What would you do differently? Try to avoid swearing at my husband and the midwife during labour! I remember using a few choice words about the unfairness of women having to go through childbirth rather than men, and demanding to know why he was rubbing my back in such a useless way at the height of my contractions!
 
How to talk so your doctor listens

Many mums complain that GPs and health professionals fob them off and make them feel neurotic when they take their child to them. Here’s how to get the most out of your visit:

• Think about what the problem is and how it might be resolved before the visit

• Write down anything you want to say to make sure you don’t forget

• Don’t be afraid to ask questions. ‘It’s hard for a doctor to tell how much a parent
knows, how experienced they are and their level of anxiety, and therefore how much information to give them,’ says Dr Philippa Ridley. ‘Unless you ask for explanations, advice and when to return if things don’t get better, you may come out feeling dissatisfied.’

• Don’t expect miracle cures for every ailment. ‘GPs see many minor illnesses, such as colds, which can make a child feel miserable and the parent anxious,’ explains Philippa. ‘But most of these illnesses are due to viruses. There’s little we can do except recommend infant paracetamol and fluids.”