And so to sleep

How you dreamed of being a mum – but now that’s likely to be the only dream you have, as, unless you’re extremely lucky, a regular good night’s kip is the last thing you’re likely to get!

You’ve been a mum for three days, and your tiny newborn has slept and slept and slept. Before you thank your lucky stars that you’ve managed to produce a baby who sleeps through the night from birth, be warned: most newborns sleep a lot (around 15 hours out of every 24) because they need that time in which to develop and grow.

But small tummies need feeding little and often, so your baby will sleep in two- to three-hour snatches regardless of the time of day… or night. In fact, you’ll very quickly lose count of the number of feed-sleep-change cycles in a 24-hour period over those first few weeks.

You’re not alone

One important factor to bear in mind is that you’re not alone. It might feel like the rest of the world is asleep when you’re up at 3am but remember every other new mum in Britain is probably up too. Talking about it with other new-mum friends you have can help, or try going online to meet some - you’ll be surprised how many there are, no matter what time of the night you log on!

It’s also worth introducing a few hard and fast sleep rules from day one. They might well save your - and your partner’s sanity. And remember, sleep deprivation doesn’t last forever. Honest!

1. Sleep when your baby sleeps

‘Ha!’ we hear your cry. No, really - you MUST try. Dr Heather Engleman, research fellow at The Edinburgh Sleep Centre, says sleep deprived new mums are as affected in their ability to perform everyday tasks as drink drivers.

‘It’s entirely appropriate for you to sleep when your baby sleeps in the day. Don’t worry about the housework - your mental health is more important,’ she says.

2. Diet dos

You need at least five portions of fruit and veg daily (with plenty of protein and carbs too) to give you the energy to help cope with sleepless nights. And make sure those carbs release energy slowly to keep you going for longer - that means filling up on wholemeal bread and brown rice and pasta, and avoiding their white equivalents and an endless stream of choccie biscuits.

3. …And diet don’ts

It’s tempting when you’re knackered to drink caffeine non-stop and rely solely on ready meals to keep you going. Don’t. Caffeine won’t do your baby any harm if you’re breastfeeding, but it might make him more irritable and hungry. Try herbal teas instead and, if possible, stock up the freezer with homemade meals before the birth.

4. Share the load

Whether or not you’re breastfeeding, the first six weeks aren’t a solo act - you need help. Before the birth sit down and discuss the tasks that you’ll need your partner to take on, and make a list of other people you can get to help out. ‘I called my husband Rich “the nappy man” after Harriet was born,’ says Ciara Morningside from High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire, mum to Harriet, one.

We had a rule that because I was breastfeeding he did all the nappy changes - at least until he went back to work - and all the bath times. It meant the burden of feeding was my lot and the rest was his. That way we each understood when the other was tired.’

5. Get some fresh air and gentle exercise

It isn’t just an old wives’ tale, a daily walk with your baby will work wonders for you both. A study at Liverpool John Moores University found that babies sleep longer at night if exposed to plenty of light and fresh air during the afternoon. So get that pram and sling ready for walking now!

A regular walk won’t just benefit the baby, it’ll get your blood and feelgood endorphins pumping, and hopefully help allay any sense of cabin fever.
‘When Daisy was about 10 days old I went into a complete meltdown,’ says Melodie, mum to Daisy, two.

‘My health visitor suggested I go out once a day for a half-hour walk, and it changed everything. If it was a nice day I’d buy a sandwich and sit and eat it in the park on the way back. Soon it became my little sanity-saving ritual.’

6. Remember, it does get better

Sleep deprivation takes its toll physically and psychologically so it’s important to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. Once your baby’s a bit bigger you can start trying to get him into a routine of sleeping for around six hours a night – yes, really! Until then, it will be hard, but remember that everything seems a lot worse when you’re tired. You will survive.