Become a baby sleep guru

Dreading those exhausting sleepless newborn nights? Here’s what you need to know about getting your baby to sleep – and stay asleep

You know how everyone says those disturbed nights in late pregnancy are preparation for the newborn stage? Well, we hate to say it, but you don’t know the meaning of the word ‘tired’ until you’ve experienced the 24/7 life of a new mum.

The good news, though, is that there’s plenty you can do from day one to help your baby to a good night’s sleep. Read on for our guide to what to expect.

Feeding

As a newborn, your baby’s sleep is closely linked to his need to feed. ‘Most babies sleep for 16 to 18 hours in every 24-hour period,’ says psychologist and sleep expert Chireal Shallow from sleep clinic Naturally Nurturing (naturallynurturing.co.uk). ‘Until about eight weeks, most only really wake up to feed, then go straight back to sleep.’

Sounds good – but bear in mind that your newborn’s stomach is the size of a deflated balloon, so he physically can’t take on enough milk to see him through the night. He needs to feed every two to three hours, night and day.

To minimise the trauma of night feeds, try to go to your baby promptly when he cries for milk, so he doesn’t waken too much, and keep everything dark, calm and quiet.

It’s often said that bottlefed babies sleep better than breastfed babies. Breastmilk is more easily digested than formula milk, so it does tend to pass through your baby’s system quicker.

But if you factor in the time you’ll spend preparing bottles and winding your baby after the feed, you won’t be gaining much in the sleep department.

Breastfed babies do, however, tend to ‘cluster feed’ in the evenings for hours at a time. This can be very hard work, but it’s normal, and is your baby’s way of stimulating your milk supply.

Rather than fighting it, get comfy in bed with a drink and some magazines, and try not to clock-watch. If a three-hour feed means your baby sleeps an extra hour overnight, it’s worth it.

Nappy changing

Night-time nappy changes can be a real hassle. So, should you bother or not? Some babies make the answer obvious, by pooing at every feed, which leaves you with little choice! If this is the case, try to change him in semi-darkness and with minimal fuss, to avoid waking him up too much.

If your baby doesn’t poo , whether or not you change him will depend on several factors. Does he get sore if left in a wet nappy for long periods? Do his nappies leak? And does he seem to be uncomfortable when he’s wet? As a rule, if his nappy situation isn’t disturbing his sleep, leave well alone.

Temperature

Your new baby can’t regulate his own temperature yet, so if he gets too hot or cold, he’ll find it hard to sleep. Generally, newborns need one more layer of clothing than you – so if you’re going to bed in PJs, he’ll need a vest, too.

To stop him being woken by the cold mattress when you place him into his cot, try warming it with a hot water bottle first, but always take it out before putting him in.

Being too hot, however, increases the risk of cot death. Ideally, his room should be between 16-18C, and you should never place his cot next to a radiator or in direct sunlight. Nor should you use a duvet – use lightweight sheets and cellular blankets, or a well-fitting baby sleeping bag.

Keep an eye on your baby’s temperature, but don’t worry if his hands feel cold – this is normal. Instead, place your hand on his tummy or the back of his neck. If he feels hot, remove a layer of blanket or clothing; if he’s chilly, add a layer.

Safe sleeping

Keeping an eye on your baby’s temperature is just one way to reduce the risk of cot death. You should also:

• Stop smoking in pregnancy – including your partner.
• Never let anyone smoke in the same room as your baby.
• Place your baby on his back to sleep.
• Keep his head uncovered – put his feet at the foot of his bed, so he can’t wriggle under the covers.
• Seek medical advice promptly if your baby seems unwell.
• Keep your baby’s bed in your room until he’s six months old.
• Never share a bed with your baby if you or your partner smoke, have been drinking alcohol, are taking drugs or medication that makes you drowsy, feel very tired, or if your baby was premature, low birthweight or is under three months old.
• Never sleep with your baby on a sofa or armchair.

Comfort

For nine months, your baby has been tightly cocooned inside you. Now he’s out in the big, scary, unfamiliar world, it’s no wonder he can’t sleep. One way to boost his sense of security is to swaddle him – wrapping him snugly in a thin blanket or sheet with his arms tucked against his body.

‘Your baby isn’t in control of his limbs, so he may startle himself with his flailing arms,’ explains Chireal. ‘Swaddling makes him feel completely comfortable.’

It’s also a good idea to make sure his first bed is small and snug. ‘Babies need small, tight spaces that they can curl up in to feel secure,’ says Chireal. So save the spacious cot for later, and tuck him up in a Moses basket or crib

There are other ways to make your baby feel safe, ranging from giving him a dummy (sucking is a natural comfort), to playing ‘womb music’, to giving him a comfort toy that you’ve slept with first, so he’s reassured by your smell. They’re all worth a go to stop your baby feeling anxious overnight.

Colic and reflux

Some newborns have real trouble sleeping, and cry excessively. It’s estimated that about 20 per cent suffer from colic – unexplained, uncontrollable crying for at least three hours a day, at least three days a week.

No one knows what causes it; explanations range from birth trauma to digestive discomfort to an oversensitivity to the outside world. It generally starts soon after birth, and lasts until around 12 weeks. There are no known cures, but the following may help:

• Over-the-counter colic drops or gripe water.
• Baby massage.
• Cranial osteopathy.
• Sucking a dummy.
• Eliminating cow’s milk, alcohol and caffeine from your diet if you’re breastfeeding.
• Using anti-colic bottles.
• Swaddling.
• Carrying your baby in a sling.
• White noise (such as the vacuum cleaner or detuned radio).
• A warm bath.

Prolonged crying and sleeplessness can also be caused by reflux, a condition where the valve at the top of the stomach is weak, allowing the stomach acid to flow back up the food pipe. This causes pain, which is worse when lying down.

Babies with reflux often bring up their milk, but many have ‘silent reflux’, suffering from pain without vomiting. If you suspect reflux, see your GP, who can prescribe medication and/or special milk. It may also help to:

• Raise the head of your baby’s mattress.
• Keep him upright for 30 minutes after a feed.
• Feed little and often.
• Wind him frequently during feeds.
• Avoid tight clothing around his waist.

Coping with colic or reflux is emotionally and physically exhausting, so don’t suffer on your own. Speak to your health visitor or contact Cry-sis, the helpline for parents with sleepless and demanding babies (0845 122 8869, cry-sis.org.uk).

Good sleep starts here

It might be unrealistic to expect your newborn to get into a sleep routine in the first six weeks, but here’s how to pave the way to good sleep habits in the not-too-distant future.

• Get some fresh air. One study suggested that babies who are exposed to natural daylight around the middle of the day sleep better at night.
• Introduce a calming bedtime routine of bath, milk, a quiet story in a darkened room and then bed to help signify that it’s sleep time.
• Get your baby used to falling asleep on his own. Try to put him to bed awake so he drops off by himself, or he’ll become reliant on you to feed or rock him to sleep if he wakes during the night.
• Try a dream feed – lightly rousing your baby for a feed before you go to bed at 10-11pm, to tank him up for a longer sleep. You should barely need to wake him – just stroke his cheek gently so he takes your nipple or the teat.
• Don’t rush in too soon. Babies move between light and deep sleep every 45 minutes, and wake slightly during the transition. If he mutters or cries, wait 30 seconds before intervening, as he may just be settling himself back to sleep.

‘He was often awake until midnight’

Christine Jones, 36, from Ely is mum to nine-month-old Leon

From the start, Leon liked his sleep, but only after a long cluster feed in the evening. Often, he was awake until midnight, overtired and miserable. There were occasions when I just didn’t know what to do with him.

Once he’d dropped off, though, he’d sleep for four hours before waking and feeding for around 45 minutes. What really helped was to make myself really comfortable so the night feeds didn’t feel like an inconvenience. I’d nestle into the glider chair and listen to the radio to keep me awake.

At about three weeks, we introduced a bottle of expressed milk, so my husband Toby could do Leon’s last feed and I could have an early night. We also started to put Leon down awake so he learnt to self-settle. At first, he protested, but after four nights, he dropped off after only crying for 30 seconds.

Although Leon was a pretty good sleeper, some days I felt shattered, and Toby and I bickered. Then one day, at five weeks old, Leon slept through from his 11pm feed till 7am the next morning. We were so thrilled that we emailed the presenter of our favourite radio show, and he announced the good news on air!