Giving birth for a second time

You swore you’d never do it again - but here you are, ready for baby number two! But this time it’ll be quicker, easier and altogether more bearable. Won’t it? We sort the second-time-birth myths from the here-we-go-again truths...

Second births are quicker

True. The average first labour lasts 12 hours; the average second one lasts eight. ‘Nothing’s guaranteed, of course,’ says midwife and M&B expert Helen O’Dell, ‘but it’d be pretty unusual if your second birth takes longer than your first.’

Why? Because your body’s been there and done it before: your uterus has ‘learned’ what to do, your pelvis and vagina are stretchier, and your cervix tends to dilate more quickly.

Which means it’s probably not wise to hang about too long once your contractions are strong and regular. ‘Do listen to your body,’ says Helen, ‘even if your brain’s telling you it can’t possibly be time yet. Quite a few second babies are born in hospital car parks!’

This baby will be bigger than the last

True (probably). But – stop panicking! – not enough to make your eyes water (any more than the first one did anyway!). Statistics show that second babies are, on average, just over 100g (4oz) heavier than first-borns.

‘But that doesn’t mean your second-born will necessarily be heavier,’ says Helen. ‘And even if he or she is, you probably won’t notice: we’re talking 4oz, remember, not 4lbs!’

It’ll be easier this time round

True(ish). ‘Because your labour’s likely to be quicker,’ says Helen, ‘it probably won’t be as much of an endurance test as it was last time.’ And because your vagina is now more, er, ‘elastic’ than it was in your pre-pelvic-floor-squeezing years, the ‘pushing’ stage should be less of a struggle.

But an altogether faster labour may mean you don’t have time for much in the way of pain relief. And that could be something of a challenge for anyone of the ‘give-me-my-epidural-now’ persuasion.

If you had a Caesarean before, you’ll have one again

False. There was a time when when one Caesarean always meant another, but now experts consider it perfectly possible – even preferable – for most women to have a vaginal birth after a Caesarean (VBAC).

‘It all depends on why you had the Caesarean first-time round,’ says M&B obstetrician Anne Deans. ‘And, as long as that same problem (breech presentation, for example) doesn’t turn up again, you’ve a 70% chance of giving birth naturally this time.

There is a very small risk of your scar rupturing but that risk is actually smaller than the risks associated with having a second section.’

You’ll be much less scared

That all depends. Mostly on how your first labour went. ‘If you had a reasonable experience first-time round,’ says Helen, ‘you’ll probably feel much calmer during your second labour.

It’s normal to be a little apprehensive beforehand, of course, but once it starts, you’ll probably find you’re much more confident because you know you’ve got through it before.’

If, however, you had a difficult first birth, the idea of doing it all again can be very daunting. Ask your midwife for advice and support or contact the Birth Trauma Association at birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

Your baby’s head will ‘engage’ later

True. Remember all that stuff your midwife wrote in your notes first-time round about the head being 2/5 or 3/5 engaged? And how even when it was ‘fully engaged’ and it felt like there was a permanent pineapple between your legs, there was still no telling when labour would start?

Well, it couldn’t be more different this time. ‘Your midwife probably won’t bother feeling to see if the head’s engaged,’ says Anne. ‘And that’s because second babies usually don’t engage until just before labour starts - or even after it’s actually begun!’

You don’t need to go to antenatal classes this time

False. You may have given birth before but that doesn’t mean you know all there is to know about labour – or indeed know what’s changed since you last set foot in a delivery suite.

Were you aware, for example, that, if your midwife says you need a kiwi when you’re in labour, she’s not talking fruit snacks but a new kind of ventouse? ‘See if your hospital does short refresher courses for second-timers,’ says Helen.

If not, find one with the National Childbirth Trust at nct.org.uk

If you tore before, you’ll tear again

False. ‘After their first labour, the vast majority of women need stitches,’ says Anne, ‘either because they’ve got tears or because they’ve had an episiotomy. But many, many women get away without needing any stitches at all second time round.

It’s one of the very few advantages of having a perineum that’s stretched to allow a baby through before!’

You needn’t bother with a birth plan

False. Yes, we know how embarrassing it was last-time round when, ten minutes after handing your midwife your long-agonised-over birth plan, you’d ditched the candles and essential oils for a take-the-pain-away-now epidural.

‘But, this time,’ says Helen. ‘you know a lot more about what you do and don’t like, and what’s realistic for you. And writing that down can only help your midwife support you better.’

You’ll find it harder to love this baby as much

False. ‘So many second-timers-to-be worry about this,’ says Helen. ‘I suppose it just seems inconceivable that you could love another child as much as you love the one you’ve already got.’

But, once your new baby arrives and snuggles into crook of your arms, you realise there’s absolutely no limit on the love you have to go around, we promise.

Second-timers tell all

‘My waters broke at toddler group – which certainly wouldn’t have happened first time round! And the labour was so much better: it was shorter and I felt a lot more in control.’

Joanna Poulson, 32, from London, mum to Alexander, three, and Max, one

‘My second birth was almost too quick! Tom was born about 15 minutes after we got to hospital - and about 90 minutes after my contractions started. I think both of us were rather shell-shocked afterwards!’

Helen Mills, 36, from London, mum to Ben, eight, Tom, seven, and Ed, three

‘I don’t remember much about my second labour except that it was very straightforward. But I do remember doing a quick supermarket shop while I was having contractions – I was determined not to leave for hospital without a full fridge in case Ellie got hungry while I was away!’

Julia Brancaster, 29, from Bristol, mum to Ellie, three, and Josh, nine months

‘First-time round I was on the bed, too nervous to move. This time, I just paced up and down between contractions and rocked from foot to foot when they kicked in. That really helped.’

Gilly Savory, 26, from Kent, mum to Mary, 20 months, and Stan, eight weeks

‘I was much more assertive second-time round. I was standing up and I really didn’t want to get on the bed to push, so the poor midwife had to crawl underneath me deliver Jordan!’

Zoe Taylor, 35, from Reading, mum to Leah, four, and Jordan, one