What labour will really be like

You’ve read all the textbooks, watched the cheesy antenatal videos and still have no idea what labour will really be like. Here’s what you need to know about childbirth according to the real experts – new mums

Sick of it

‘I didn’t expect to have any more sickness once I'd got past my spell of morning sickness, so I was really surprised when I spent most of my six-hour labour throwing up. The midwife said it was down to changing hormone levels and shock due to the speed of the birth.’

Tracy Napier, 26, from Edinburgh, mum to Gina, nine months

Feel the burn

‘I’d never realised how much pregnancy books play down the pain of labour. I’d read in all the books that I would feel a 'slight burning sensation' when the baby's head was crowning, so I expected a few twinges, but it really felt like I was on fire down there.’

Katrin Waverley, 31, from Leeds, mum to Joe, three, and six-month-old Callum

Only human

‘I expected my midwife to be a pillar of strength, but she seemed really grumpy, and I took it personally. But later, she told me she had an eight-month-old herself, and I realised she was probably fed up at being stuck on night duty instead of at home putting her baby to bed.

It had never occurred to me that midwives are human and just doing their job – they have good days and bad days, like anyone else.’

Stephanie Bryant, 24, from Newcastle, mum to one-year-old Lily

Mirror, mirror…

‘I was really surprised when my midwife asked me if I wanted her to hold up a mirror so I could see my baby’s head crowning. I wasn’t sure I was brave enough, but I agreed to have a quick look and it was an amazing experience to actually see Nicholas being born.’

Julia Cockburn, 30, from Islington, London, mum to Nicholas, two

A load of hot air

‘I didn’t expect the birth to be so ‘windy’! The doctors told me afterwards that thanks to the pressure of the baby, air can get forced out of various places, which explained all the strange noises I was making. It was very bizarre at the time!’

Alison Turnbell, 23, from Edinburgh, mum to three-month-old Megan

Private property

‘My friend gave birth in the same hospital a week before me, and tipped me off about private rooms. Apparently, most hospitals have them.

They’re primarily for women who are experiencing complications, but as long as no-one else has got there first, anyone can use them for a small fee – I paid £45 per night, which was well worth it for a proper night’s sleep away from the ward full of crying babies.

If I hadn’t asked, I’m sure my midwife wouldn’t have mentioned it.’

Gail Chamberlain, 31, from Folkestone, Kent, mum to Colin, 10 months

Shake it, baby

‘I never knew that loads of women get the shivers in labour. It was nothing to do with being cold – the midwife told me it was a side effect of my epidural. I was shaking and my teeth were chattering all the way through.’

Wendy Morrison, 40, from Maidstone, Kent, mum to Tamsin, four months

Top of the flops

‘No-one warned me about hospital showers. I was desperate to clean up after giving birth, but the bathroom looked so grubby I couldn’t bring myself to go in there. I sent my husband home to get a J-cloth and some bathroom cleaner, and my flip-flops to stop my feet getting manky.’

Louise Pryce, 34, from Oxford, mum to 18-month-old Flynn

Hot stuff

‘I felt so hot and uncomfortable during labour that I pulled off my t-shirt and gave birth in the nude. Thankfully, I had a home birth, so not very many people witnessed it, but my midwife assured me that plenty of people strip off in hospital, too.’

Seonaid McBain, 27, from Glasgow, mum to Dougie, 15 months

Say what you want

‘I’m usually quite reserved, but in labour, I turned into a completely different person – I was screaming, crying and swearing at everyone that came into the room. Afterwards, I apologised to the hospital staff, but they said they were used to it.’

Emily Moir, 39, from Stirling, mum to Leesa, two

Blank slate

‘I went to NHS antenatal classes, active birth classes and NCT classes, but in the middle of labour my mind went completely blank. I couldn't remember any of the positions I was supposed to get into, and ended up flat on my back, lying on the bed.’

Jennifer Walker, 25, from Camden, London, mum to three-year-old Karena and two-month-old Duncan

Eyes wide shut

‘I was in hospital for three nights after having a caesarean, and the first night, I barely slept a wink – I didn’t realise that the lights in the hospital are always on, even if they’re down low.

My husband brought in the eye mask and earplugs I’d been given on a long-haul flight, and they blocked out the noise and light just enough to help me nod off.’

Rebecca McKinley, 36, from Crawley, Surrey, mum to Josh, five months

No more tears

‘My friend, who’s a midwife, suggested putting a warm, damp flannel on my perineum as I dilated, to soften it and stop it tearing. It worked for me – I didn’t have any stitches. It’s got to be worth a try!’

Donna Short, 38, from Edgbaston, mum to Erin, 18 months, and George, four

Three’s a crowd

‘I thought I’d find my husband, Dave, a real help when I gave birth, but when it got to the later stages of labour I was so busy concentrating that him talking to me just put me off pushing.

He left the room so I could focus on the contractions and what the midwife was telling me, and came straight back in the second Alexander was born.’

Alicia Wade, 22, from Manchester, mum to Alexander, 10 months

Girl power

‘I had a long, difficult labour with Holly. My partner found it hard to cope and said he didn’t want to be there when Bertie was born. I was upset at first, but I asked a good friend of mine, who’s a mum herself, to be my birth partner, and she was fantastic.

I always thought I’d feel cheated if my partner wasn’t at the birth, but the whole experience was totally different – I was so much calmer, and my labour was much easier, too.’

Pat Charlton-Smith, 35, from Harlow, mum to Bertie, one, and Holly, five

And there’s more…

Don’t think all the surprises are over once you’ve had your baby. Our real mums tell all about the post-birth aftermath...

Love at second sight

‘I thought I’d fall in love with my baby straightaway, but it wasn’t like that. After a 48-hour labour and emergency caesarean, I was exhausted and needed time to recover.

So I breastfed, then the midwife put Chloe in her cot so I could sleep. When I felt ready to hold her, a couple of hours later I was totally smitten.’

Clare Atkins, 34, from London, mum to Chloe, six months

Period panic

‘I’d been told that bleeding after the birth was like a ‘heavy period’, but the blood clots I passed after Millie was born were huge – the size of plums. I was terrified, but the midwife reassured me that it was normal.’

Nina Peterson, 27, from Newcastle, mum to Millie, three

Food for thought

‘I was starving after giving birth, but it was the middle of the night and all I was offered was a slice of toast. If I have another baby, I’ll definitely pack some sandwiches and fruit in my labour bag – hospital food is still pretty grim.’

Kate Douglas, 28, from Fulham, London, mum to twins Arran and Cameron, eight months

Bathroom blues

‘The one thing I wasn’t prepared for after the birth was piles – I discovered them the day after the birth, and they were as big as ping pong balls! No-one told me they could develop as a result of pushing. Thankfully they’re loads better now, but it was a huge shock at the time’

Jill Hennesey, 32, from Edinburgh, mum to Skye, one

Road to recovery

‘I couldn’t believe it when, six hours after my caesarean, the hospital hysiotherapist came to talk to me about exercising. But I have to admit that, much as I didn’t feel like it, it was worth listening to her advice and doing the exercises. She showed me how to feed and lift my baby without injuring my back or my scar, and I felt fully recovered after four weeks.’

Janet Quinn, from Aberdeen, mum to Maggie, two