How to have an ideal birth

Wouldn’t it be lovely if you had a fairy godmother to help you get your ideal birth?

Some people would have it that giving birth is a lottery, and your baby will come when – and how – he wants. But with a bit of planning, plenty of preparation, and a good helping of expert advice, you really can have your dream birth. We decided to see if we could make four women’s wishes come true with a wave of our magic wand (along with some invaluable advice from those in the know).

No pain, no gain

Jenny Peacock, 34, is married to Steve, 30. She is 38 weeks pregnant with her first baby and is hoping for a drug-free birth, using hypnotherapy

‘When I investigated birth options, everything I read suggested that the more medical intervention you have, the worse the side effects and the longer it takes to recover. I know labour will hurt a lot, but I believe my body knows what it’s doing. I want to use self-hypnosis, yoga, breathing and possibly water instead of drugs.

I’ve been listening to hypnotherapy CDs, which have given me confidence, as well as teaching me about breathing and relaxation. I feel I’ve done everything I can to prepare, and I’ve had no medical intervention during pregnancy so I see no reason why I should have any during labour.’

The fairy godmother says…

Maggie Howell is the founder of Natal Hynoptherapy (hypnosis for pregnancy and childbirth).

• Create a relaxing, private place in your mind – a holiday memory or a beautiful garden. This will become a special place to ‘go to’ during labour.

• Protect yourself from negative stories about birth. Only ask mums what the good bits were!

• Have confidence in your body. If it can grow a perfect human being, then it has all it needs to birth your baby unassisted.

• Reduce fears by talking about them. Anxiety will hinder labour, because when we feel frightened, our body produces adrenaline, which can stop or slow down contractions (by tightening the cervix).

• Stay at home as long as possible – familiar surroundings should help you relax and give you a better chance of having a natural birth.

• Your breathing should be steady, rhythmical and calm. Staying relaxed is the key to a comfortable birth.

• No matter where your birth takes you, trust in your instincts, ask questions and take time to make decisions.

• Let your midwife know you’re using hypnotherapy so she can support you.

Dream come true?

‘Before my big day, I spoke to Maggie over the phone and used the CDs from 36 weeks. I was in labour for four days before I was finally admitted to hospital. By then, I was already 7cm dilated, and still felt quite calm. But an hour later, there were complications. My baby was back-to-back and his heart rate was dropping. He needed to be delivered by ventouse.

I needed an episiotomy (a cut to the perineum to widen the vaginal opening), so the midwives suggested a local anesthetic. Although it wasn’t what I’d hoped for, I felt they’d respected my wishes to have minimal pain relief. Jamie was born weighing 7lb 4oz, and he was perfect. I was elated.

Using hypnotherapy and keeping the birth as natural as possible definitely helped with both my labour and recovery. I felt alert and in control, and trusted that my body knew what to do. But I couldn’t have done it without Steve. He was fantastic all the way through.’

The expert’s verdict

‘Jenny’s approach to her birth helped boost her confidence and belief in her ability to deliver her baby. Her preparation was key – the more confident, positive, calm and prepared you feel, the more likely you are to have a good birth experience.’ 
 
Water baby

Michelle Lane, 29, is 39 weeks pregnant with her first baby. She lives with husband Andy, 24, and is hoping for a water birth

‘I’ve always found water therapeutic. I’ve heard how relaxing water can be during labour and how it acts as natural pain relief, and I’ve decided to try for a water birth at our nearby birth centre. I want my labour to be shorter and less painful, in the most natural way possible, and I’m sure it will be less traumatic for my baby to come out straight into the water. Andy and the midwives are incredibly supportive of my decision.’

The fairy godmother says…

Amy Maclean is an NCT Antenatal Teacher and Founder of the Good Birth Company specialists in affordable birthing pools, and information and advice regarding water births.

• Using water is proven to shorten labour and reduce interventions.

• Don’t settle for the ‘only if the pool is available’ line – you can always hire a pool to take to hospital, but you will need to ensure your hospital has a midwife who is trained to deliver babies in water.

• Enter the water when your contractions are no more than five minutes apart and you can’t speak through them, as getting in the water too early may slow down labour.

• Getting out the pool every 90 minutes or so may speed up contractions and make them even more efficient.

For more information about water births, contact The Good Birth Company at thegoodbirth.co.uk or call 0800 035 0514. 

Dream come true?

‘While I was pregnant, I spoke to Amy for advice – she talked to me about the benefits of using water for labour and gave me loads of tips (above). ‘When my contractions started, I ran a bath at home, and the water instantly calmed the pain.

By the time I got to the birth centre I was already 4cm dilated, so the midwife filled the pool.

The water was bliss – it eased the pain and was just what I wanted.

I was already feeling pressure down below, so I got out to be examined. I was still only 5cm dilated, but the midwife told me I wasn’t allowed back in the water. I felt gutted but didn’t really ask why, and looking back I realise I was too acceptant of what she told me, but I lacked the confidence to question her advice.

I was given pethidine, and I used gas and air and the birth ball. The midwives wanted me to get on the bed but it didn’t feel natural – my instinct was to use gravity. I actually gave birth to Ethan Joseph, 6lb, on the bed on all fours and I’m glad I listened to my body.’

I felt really disappointed that I didn’t achieve the birth I wanted, but I’ll never forget the moment when they passed Ethan through my legs. It hit me that this was a bond that would never be broken.’

The expert’s verdict

‘Congratulations, Michelle. She had Ethan with no medical interventions, but her birth was still far from her dreams, because she lacked control. It sounds like the midwives advised Michelle based on what was most convenient for them.

But she did enjoy some of the benefits of water. She should focus on the positives, but confront what went wrong so she can focus on what she’d like to do next time.’

Home comfort

Lisa and Luke Gifford, both 29, are expecting their first baby in a month. Lisa is planning a home birth

‘I’ve never liked hospitals, and our tour of the maternity suite made me realise why. It felt clinical and uninviting, and I instantly felt tense. I didn’t think I’d feel relaxed and happy in hospital, so I’ve decided on a home birth.

I’ll have two midwives at the birth, who’ll be there just for me – like having a private birth on the NHS! Initially, Luke was worried about the upheaval, mess and the possibility of things going wrong, but the nearest hospital is only 10 minutes away if there’s an emergency.

I’d like to have my baby in our bedroom, with music playing and candles lit. I don’t feel scared – I’m looking forward to giving birth in the comfort of my own home.’

The fairy godmother says…

Caroline Flint is director of the Birth Centre in London, a private centre that strives to give women the birth they really want

• To ensure your home birth request is taken seriously, write to the head of midwifery at your local hospital. That way, she will have to respond.

• It’s important to stress that home births are not your GPs area of expertise – try discussing it with your midwife first. And if your GP is unsupportive of your decision, you can ask to be referred.

• Find out if there is a local homebirth group in your area and arrange to go along to one of their meetings. You will gain invaluable advice and support from women who’ve had personal experience of a homebirth.

• The website homebirth.org can put you in touch with people who’ve had home births in your area.

• Booking a home birth doubles your choices, because you can always change your mind and transfer to hospital during labour.

To find out more about The Birth Centre visit www.birthcentre.com

Dream come true?

‘I spoke to Caroline on the phone; her enthusiasm for home births really helped boost my confidence that I was planning the right birth for me. Luke and I were both excited and a little nervous when I had a show.

By the next evening, my contractions were strong, so we called the midwife out. Luke ran me bath and lit candles. It felt so nice to be in familiar surroundings. Being able to do what I wanted helped me relax.

My labour wasn’t progressing, so my midwife broke my waters, which sped things up – I was guzzling the gas and air! When the time came to push, I lay on our bed supported by pillows.

I pushed for almost two hours and the midwife felt I wasn’t progressing any further, so she suggested an episiotomy – I agreed because at that point I just wanted to reach the finish line! After Noah Charlie was born at 7am, weighing 7lb 6oz.

Once the midwives had left, the three of us climbed into bed for a cuddle. It was perfect – a really empowering experience.’ 

The expert’s verdict

‘Well done to Lisa and her husband – her enthusiasm about climbing into her own bed after the midwife left brought back lovely memories for me. For most women, that’s the very best bit of having a home birth.’

Back for seconds

Maija Bisset, 29, had an emergency caesarean with her daughter Grace, three. She and her husband Nick, 27, are expecting their second baby and Maija desperately wants a natural delivery

‘When I was pregnant with Grace, I was hoping for a waterbirth, but when I was admitted to hospital in labour, I was strapped to a monitor. I felt helpless and out of control. Because I was progressing slowly, the midwife began to push for an epidural. It felt like a battle of wills, and after two hours I gave in.

But it didn’t work and by the time I was ready to push, I was too exhausted. I ended up with an emergency section under general aesthetic. This time I’m determined it will be different. Speaking to Debbie has given me self-belief.

I’ve spoken to mums who’ve had Vaginal Births After Caesareans (VBACs), read up about it, and been on a refresher antenatal course. I feel relaxed and I truly believe I can do it.’

The fairy godmother says…

Debbie Chippington Derrick is a VBAC co-ordinator for the NCT and co-author of Caesarean birth – your questions answered (National Childbirth Trust, £6.50)

• Finding a supportive obstetrician and midwife, who will encourage you to feel that VBAC is worthwhile, is important. If you are not happy with the support you are getting from your current midwife, ask to be referred to someone else.

• You don’t need a consultant’s permission for a VBAC. You can contact the head of midwifery to organise support for the birth you want.

• You can have a VBAC after any number of sections. The only time another caesarean would be advisable is for the medical reasons like a case of severe placenta praevia or pre eclampsia.

• Have an encouraging birth partner with your throughout your labour, and, if you can arrange it, a midwife you know and trust. In some areas the NHS provides this standard of care, or it can be negotiated via the head of midwifery; but in many places women have no alternative but to employ an independent midwife (independentmidwives.org.uk) to achieve this.

• Keeping mobile can help you cope without an epidural, which can slow labour down and make spontaneous birth less likely. Even if you have continuous monitoring, you can move around, use birth balls, bean bags, stand or rock.

For VBAC information and support, email debbie@caesarean.org.uk or visit caesarean.org.uk. Talk to other women who’ve had a successful VBAC by contacting the NCT’s Experience Register on 0870 444 8707.

Dream come true?

‘Debbie and I spoke over the phone and discussed my first labour in detail to help Debbie see where things went wrong. We also talked through ways I could increase my chances of having a normal delivery.

Ten days overdue, I went to see the consultant. Fortunately, he was happy to wait a few more days. When my waters broke spontaneously, I felt remarkably calm. By the time we got to hospital I was already 5cm dilated. They wanted to monitor me constantly, but I refused. I felt strong enough to make my choices clear.

The midwife seemed happy to let me labour at my own pace, but when I started pushing, my baby’s heart rate dropped. The consultant felt it was time to intervene with ventouse, and I just wanted my baby born safely so was happy to follow the consultant’s advice. George was born perfectly healthy weighing 8lbs 13oz. I was over the moon, very proud and incredibly happy.

My preparation meant I trusted my instincts, listened to my body and felt in control. It was an incredible experience.’

The expert’s verdict

‘Maija was able to draw on her previous experience to work out what she needed in terms of environment and support. With the support of her partner, who kept her focused on what she wanted, she was able to avoid another caesarean.’

Did you know…

• Every woman has a right to give birth wherever she chooses

• If you’re not happy with your midwife in labour, you can request a different one

• You can move the furniture around in the delivery room if you want to

• You have to give your consent before any intervention is carried out

• You should be entitled to eat and drink as you feel necessary but some labour wards may advise you to stick to light snacks and drinks

• You can have an active birth to music if you want to.

• You can refuse to be watched or attended by students

• You are entitled to privacy during labour and no one should come into your room without knocking