Your second labour

Here’s how to help your second labour turn into a first-class delivery

Maybe your first labour was fine and dandy. Maybe it seriously wasn’t. But whatever happened last time round, we know you’re hoping this time’s going to be great. And, while nothing’s ever certain where old Mother Nature is concerned, there are seven simple steps you can take to swing the second-birth-experience odds distinctly in your favour...

1. Learn from last time

You’ve ‘done’ labour before. And, hideous or heavenly, it’s your trump card this time round. Because, whether you’d like a re-run of your first birth or a complete rewrite, you at least have some idea of what works for you when those contractions set in.

Expert tip: ‘Write a list of things you found useful last time,’ says M&B midwife Maureen Royds-Jones.

‘It could be anything, from listening to music to pacing the floor. And make a note of the things that didn’t help, too. If your partner’s attempts at back massage just irritated you, for example, now’s the time to think of something more helpful he could do instead.’

Mum’s tip: ‘Streamline your hospital bag. Last time, I took in two huge holdalls and a birthing ball – I didn’t need three-quarters of it.’

Nina Field, 29, from north London, mum to Alfie, 2, and 28 weeks pregnant

2. Request your notes

The hospital you gave birth at last time will have a copy of the notes that were made during your labour, and you’re perfectly entitled to see them (ask your midwife how you request them). Reading through them can be really helpful, especially if something happened last time that you’ve never really understood.

Expert tip: ‘If your first birth was difficult, ask your midwife to go through your notes with you,’ says Maureen. ‘Talking through what happened – and why – can be amazingly therapeutic.’

Mum’s tip: ‘Ask questions. I had a tear and loads of stitches last time, so I assumed the same would happen again. But my midwife said that wasn’t true: lots of second-timers don’t need any stitches at all!’

Gilly Brancaster, 29, from Bristol, mum to Aoife, two, and 20 weeks pregnant

3. Go to classes

Been there, done that? You may have given birth before but that doesn’t mean you know all there is to know about labour. Or indeed what’s changed since you last set foot in a delivery suite. It really does pay to tip up at those antenatal classes again.

Expert tip: ‘See if your hospital does short refresher courses for second-timers,’ says Maureen. If not, find one with the National Childbirth Trust (NCT) at www.nct.org.uk

Mum’s tip: ‘Bring your birth partner along, too. My husband moaned about it at first but then confessed he’d forgotten a lot of the stuff he learnt first time round.’

Debbie McAllister, 32, from Sheffield, mum to Johnny, three, and 38 weeks pregnant

4. Organise childcare

There’s quite enough to cope with when you’re in labour without frantically phoning round to find a babysitter for your first-born. Sort out the childcare well before your due date. And have a few ‘practice’ sessions, so you can head off for the birth knowing your child is with someone you’re both comfortable with.

Expert tip: ‘You really do need a very robust plan, probably involving a couple of different people,’ says Maureen. ‘Remember, labour often starts in the middle of the night.’

Mum’s tip: ‘Do expect to feel quite emotional about your first-born when your second labour starts. I remember sobbing, mid-contraction, ‘His life will never be the same again!’

Joanna Good, 28, from north London, mum to Patrick, four, and Polly, 20 weeks

5. Think about a homebirth

If your labour went smoothly last time and you’ve no medical complications this time, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t give birth at home – if you want to. Women who’ve had successful home births say being in familiar surroundings helped them feel more relaxed and in control.

Expert tip: ‘Homebirths should be offered routinely,’ says Maureen. ‘If you’re not offered one, talk to your midwife.’ For more on this, see Your rights to the second birth you want, below

Mum’s tip: ‘If you’re not sure about a homebirth, ask if your hospital has a “home-from-home” birth unit. I had a lovely waterbirth in one – safe in the knowledge that, if I needed it, all the high-tech help was right next door!’

Rachel Fowler, 34, from Brighton, mum to Chloe, three, and Lily, six months

6. Write (another) birthplan

Now that you know more about what you do and don’t like in the delivery room, your first birthplan probably seems as much use as a chocolate teapot. So, it’s time to write another, more realistic, one that can help your midwife support you even better.

Expert tip: ‘Keep it short and to the point,’ says Maureen. ‘We midwives always appreciate a nice, clear, concise birthplan!’

Mum’s tip: ‘Highlight anything that upset or confused you last time round, so that the midwife knows to take special care to avoid it happening again.’

Tania Hadfield, 33, from north Yorkshire, mum to Luke, five, and Mark, two

7. Get your head straight

When it comes to a second birth, you need to think flexible. It’s just as important for a second-timer to keep an open mind as it is for a first-timer. Yes, your labour may go exactly as it did last time but it may well be a totally different experience. It’s good to plan for what you’d like but it’s also vital to spare a little thought for the unexpected.

Expert tip: ‘Don’t worry if, as you get nearer to your due date, you start revisiting your first birth and dwelling on the details,’ says Maureen. ‘It’s perfectly normal – most women do it.’

Mum’s tip ‘Do talk about it with your partner. Mine totally surprised me by saying he’d really rather not be there this time. I had to draft my mum in quick!’

Nykeeta Wisdome-Foster, 28, from east London, mum to Roman, two, and Jewel, 12 weeks

‘My first birth was horrific but my second was better’

‘My first labour took two long, agonising days. I had no pain relief. To begin with, I didn’t want any and, then, when I begged for an epidural, there was no anaesthetist available.

‘Alfie was a big baby – he weighed in at 10lb 14oz – and, after two hours of pushing, he was delivered by ventouse. My cervix tore and I haemorrhaged, losing lots of blood and needed stitching in theatre under general anaesthetic.

‘I was so shocked by how bad it had been and felt like such a failure. I’d imagined a glorious, natural birth and I felt very ashamed and emotionally numb for a long time afterwards. It was a very difficult time but I got through it thanks to the love and care of my family and friends. I also got a copy of my notes and went through them with a consultant: it helped to talk about what had happened.

‘Initially, I didn’t want to have any more children. But, as time passed, I changed my mind. I got pregnant again 18 months later and, for most of the pregnancy, I just blanked out all thoughts of the birth. In the last ten weeks, though, I started having nightmares again, and I knew I had to do something.

‘I decided to identify the worst part of my first birth – the hours and hours of unrelieved pain – and plan to avoid a repeat performance. I wrote a birth plan that said ‘EPIDURAL!’ and not much else. I made it really clear I didn’t want anyone trying to encourage me to “wait a little longer”: I wanted proper pain relief when I asked for it.

‘The other thing that really helped was having much more realistic expectations of labour. I knew that it wouldn’t be easy. My only aim was to grit my teeth and get through it.

‘I went overdue and was induced at 41 weeks. I had an epidural as soon as I could and it worked perfectly. Freddie was also born by ventouse. I haemorrhaged again but, this time, my cervix didn’t tear, so I was able to cuddle my baby straightaway.

I wouldn’t say my second birth healed the trauma of my first birth – I don’t think anything really can – but it was an entirely different and better experience in every way.’

Anna Davidson, mum of Alfie, five, and Freddie, two

 If you feel traumatised by childbirth, find help and support from the Birth Trauma Association at www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

What your second labour might be like

‘Second labours are usually faster,’ says Maureen. ‘Nothing’s guaranteed, of course, but the average second birth lasts eight hours, compared to the average first birth that lasts 12 hours.

Things tend to progress more quickly because your cervix dilates faster, your pelvis and vagina are stretchier, and your uterus has “learned” what to do.

‘It’ll probably seem easier, too. The faster progress makes it feel less of an endurance test. And, since your vagina and perineum are more elastic, you should find it less of a struggle to push your baby out.’

Your rights to the second birth you want

 ‘I want a home birth’: Many hospitals are very supportive of women who want to give birth at home, provided there are no specific medical reasons against it. But some maternity services do struggle to provide a proper home birth service.

‘If you cannot get your midwife to support your choice to have a baby at home,’ says Mary Newburn of the NCT, ‘you should get in touch with the hospital and ask to speak to the midwife supervisor or the community midwifery manager.’

 ‘I want a Caesarean’: Official guidelines say you should not be turned down for an elective Caesarean if you really cannot face vaginal birth again, says Maureen Treadwell of the Birth Trauma Association.

‘But you may have to very insistent,’ she says. ‘Ask for a referral to another consultant, if necessary. You’ll have the best chance of a good birth if you feel you have made the right choice and have not been bounced into something you’re uncomfortable with.’