Sanity Savers: 10 Secrets of chilled out parents

Sanity saving advice for mums and mums-to-be. Why it doesn’t pay to sweat the small stuff
 
1. They go with the flow
‘Don’t get hung up on routines or schedules and try to be as flexible as possible. As long as I’m armed with a snack for Isobel and a change of clothes and nappies, I can face anything!’
Nira Gale, mum to Isobel, 17 months

2. They realise that it all evens out in the end
‘There’s no point stressing about whether your baby is reaching their milestones. By and large, they all catch up in the long run. What seems like a worry now won’t mean anything a few months down the line.’
Adam Carpenter, dad to Jem, two, and Carys, four

3. They know their best is enough
‘I was desperate to breastfeed Poppy when she was born because it’s supposed to reduce the risk of eczema which runs in my family. But I only managed to do it for three weeks. Why beat myself up? I tried and Poppy is healthy and happy. That’s all that matters.’
Jamie Miller, mum to Poppy, 4 months

4. They ignore the stuff that doesn’t matter…
‘I don’t make a big deal over minor things such as Lana insisting on wearing her Snow White dress to nursery. It’s hardly the end of the world. The time to put your foot down is when your child’s being rude or doing something dangerous.’
Emma Shepherd, mum to Lana, 18 months

5. … But they stick to their guns
‘I think children need clear boundaries. So if you tell them they’re not allowed to watch TV before bedtime one night, stick to that every night. Otherwise you confuse your child and create a rod for your own back.’
Katie Foster, mum to Ella, two and Alfie, six
 
6. They don’t overreact to what they see in the papers
‘I read something about how having a new baby in a pram that faces you helps boost their language. But both my children were in outward facing buggies from the day they were born and they can talk til the cows come home!'
Karla Coombes, mum to Jake , two and Cerise, four

7. They look after themselves as well as their baby
‘Happy mum, happy child. I make sure I get some time to pamper myself each week. The better I feel about myself, the easier I find it to cope with everything.’
Laura George, mum to Darryl, eight months

8. They’re not trying to create a genius
‘Mums seem to feel under pressure to turn their babies into brainboxes! I know some who are constantly ferrying their little ones around to baby ballet, music and exercise classes. Too many activities just stress out the mums and the children.’
 
9. They’re not trying to be perfect
‘Our flat used to be spotless before Noemie arrived, now it’s a tip! But if you’ve got kids I think people understand that. If they don’t, that’s their problem!’
Lynda Ross, mum to Noemie, five months.

10. And they’re not pretending to be perfect
‘I think it’s sad when mums try to pretend that everything’s great and they never feel knackered or down. It must be really exhausting putting up a front the whole time! 
'Just be real. We’re all in the same boat, aren’t we?’
Rosemary Danso, mum to Kofi, 16 months.