Becoming a dad - How having a baby has changed the lives of these men

David Whiting, 33, from High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire, is dad to Amelie, two, and Heather, one
‘Over the moon are the three words that perfectly describe how I felt when we found out Nola, my wife, was pregnant with our first baby. It was what we both wanted and I was so happy I almost cried.
‘It was scary too, though: I found the first scan really nerve-wracking and because Nola had high blood pressure I was terrified something would happen to her.
‘When it came to the birth I was unprepared. Antenatal classes teach you how to help with breathing and pushing but you’re not prepared for anything other than a straightforward labour. Nola ended up being induced, then having an emergency caesarean. It was a real shock.
‘Getting your baby home is probably the best bit about becoming a dad – you’re living on pure adrenalin. You’re so busy learning new tasks, gazing at your baby and greeting visitors that by the time your two weeks paternity leave are over, you’re shattered!’

Tom Walton, 29, from north London, dad to Lily, four weeks
 ‘Jayne and I were trying for a baby but I wasn’t expecting success to be as quick as it was; it was a one-shot scenario. It only hit home as the due date started to get close. It was like that feeling you get at Christmas.
‘The pregnancy was fine – we’d done our homework – and I found it easy to be supportive early on in the labour because I had something to do: helping with her breathing and communicating with the midwife. But as soon as Jayne went into the labour ward I felt like a bystander, rather than a participant. That loss of control made me feel emotional.
‘The first few weeks are very special. It’s strange though – your baby is so tiny and defenceless, yet she has control over you.
‘When we got married I felt our love grow, which I didn’t think was possible. I’d say the same when it comes to having a baby: just when you think you can’t love your wife more, the boundaries extend even further.’

Chris Good, 26, from Ottery St Mary, Devon, is dad to Isabelle, four, Sophia, two, and Finley, four months
‘I remember feeling really small in the world when we found out Hannah was pregnant for the first time. I felt a mixture of joy, curiosity and excitement, but I also felt insecure: could I live up to the task, find us somewhere better to live, get us a bigger car? We’d been married just two months and a small part of me did wish we’d had more time on our own first.
‘When Hannah was five months pregnant she fell down the stairs. The midwife checked her over and said she was OK, but I suddenly felt very protective of her and the baby she was carrying.
‘When Isabelle was born I felt a brief pang of disappointment that she was a girl but then I felt a real animal instinct to protect her.
‘Each of my baby’s births has made me feel closer to Hannah. It really makes you realise the love you have for each other.’

Matt Brown, 31, from Merthyr Tydfil, South Wales, is dad to Lucien, 14 months, and Claire is nine weeks pregnant
‘We had a rocky start with Lucien – they thought the pregnancy was ectopic, which then made it difficult for Claire or I to relax. His birth was traumatic, too – his heart stopped beating at the end of the labour so when he was born they spent eight minutes resuscitating him. Claire was screaming and trying to get up while I was stood in the corner in a complete state of shock.
‘Lucien spent his first night in special care and I didn’t get to hold him until the following morning. It was such an amazing feeling – this was my son!
‘Your first few weeks as a dad are a steep learning curve. Breastfeeding made things difficult because if Claire was tired, there was nothing I could do to help.
‘Our difficult first birth has made me afraid for this next one but there’s nothing you can do about it; you just have to go with the flow.’

Paul Golledge, 37, from Bristol, dad to Sam, six months
 ‘We’d been trying for a baby for so long that we were about to give up and go travelling.
‘During the pregnancy we made a mood swing-o-meter which helped diffuse any tension and we talked about our fears and our hopes. My only concern was for Sarah.
‘I felt oddly detached during the labour – everyone had his or her job to do except me – but seeing the birth itself was beyond description. It felt like we’d been united: the three of us were together at last.
‘The first few weeks were hard though. For all the love I felt for Sam, I just couldn’t bond with him. Even though he hardly ever cried, I didn’t know how to comfort him when he did. It really wasn’t until about six weeks into it that I found my feet. It wasn’t fun, but it was a necessary process. Now it breaks my heart just to leave him to go to work.’

Jamie Langley, 37, from Purley, Surrey, dad to Abigail, nine months
 Until I held Abi in my arms, becoming a dad was hard to imagine. The scans and seeing the baby kick helped, but at the first scan she just looked like a peanut.
‘When it came to the birth, I messed up timing the contractions: I kept missing every other one so I thought they were nine minutes apart when they were four! It was only when Roz started to push on the drive to hospital that I realised and panicked.
‘I’m squeamish and never thought I’d be able to watch the birth but seeing Abi pushing her way out was amazing – I even took a look at the placenta! It was the best experience.
‘I loved being a new dad, although I must admit I wasn’t good at waking up in the night. Now that she’s getting bigger I’m enjoying doing more with her… like throwing her in the air without my wife shouting at me!’