Why your partner hates shopping for baby products

Even at its best, January sale shopping ranks marginally below root canal surgery on most men’s list of favourite weekend activities. Finding a way of telling my wife that no pair of designer high heels can physically change the shape of her ankles without being hit, or calculating which bill we can safely leave unpaid that month to buy yet another ‘essential’ blouse (not a shirt, apparently) is enough to make this grown man cry. So when you suggest to your man that the January sales are the perfect place to acquire all your baby-related needs, don’t be surprised if he’s slightly less than enthusiastic. 

Yes, on the one hand, everyone loves a bargain. If we’re going to have to get everything from bassinets to breast pumps over the next few weeks, we may as well try to save a few bob while we’re about it. And, there is the undeniable truth that the upcoming baby is at least half mine. What I didn’t know, when I cautiously agreed to Louisa’s request to ‘hit’ the sales when she was pregnant with our son Oliver, now 15 months, was that her bargain instinct – which I’d previously considered quite impressive – is absolutely no match for her nesting instinct.

While I spent my time helpfully looking for the cheapest babygro in the shop, my wife was pursuing an unrelated search based entirely on issues of cuteness and which colours would work best with the newly decorated nursery. My discovery of a great value car seat was not met with praise – instead my wife held forth with a long list of questions based on European safety law and testing procedures. I have no idea when she became such an expert on transporting infants but I did learn that for many parents - my wife included – bargains come a low second when baby shopping (when shopping for the first baby, anyway, I gather standards often slip by the time number two comes around). Result: the exalted January sales didn’t really offer much of a deal. 

However, I would have tried way harder at the January sales business had I known what the alternative was: the ubiquitous NCT nearly new sale.

Imagine, if you will, the last January sale on Earth frequented by women armed with not only the bargain and nesting instincts, but also a fierce maternal instinct and – ideally – at least one screaming infant already in hand. All held in the Black Hole of Calcutta – aka the local church hall, invariably with no central heating to speak of and certainly no toilets in which to change the aforementioned screaming infant.

I walked, or rather was elbowed by a sea of shopping mothers, over to the nearest stall. Where I promptly had a huge row with Louisa over what size clothes we needed – should we get newborn or skip straight to 0-3 months (as we’re both very tall), and how many, and in what colour, and should they have buttons or zips…? Admittedly, unlike me, she had raging hormones to excuse her side in the sudden, dramatic outburst. Suffice to say, two minutes later we were ejected from the church hall – me pale and shaking; Louisa crying; and both of us empty-handed.

It doesn’t have to be like that. James, a two-time parent and NCT sale survivor, insists that this can be men’s moment to shine. “Decide what you need before going and stick to it,” he advises. “Talk to a friend who’s a year ahead of you and ask them what you really need. You may find that getting a decent washing machine is actually more important than any obvious baby gear.”

“Try to prepare and embrace your task,” he adds. “It’s actually a good way to start thinking about what life will really be like with a baby. ‘Where will he sleep?’ ‘How will we bathe him?’ and so on.”

Bob Read, director of parenting charity As 2 Become 3 (www.as2become3.org) agrees that shopping can be a good opportunity for dads-to-be to bond with their babies before they’re even born. “People will bond with their new baby at different rates – for some, it’s instant, while for others it can take weeks, months or even years,” he explains. “Shopping for baby and thinking about him or her can really help speed this up. One good idea for dads is to think about a baby carrier so that they can hold him close when they go for walks.”

And it’s not all bad news for dads. Just as the reality dawned on me that buying a new car from here on in would be about boot space and fuel efficiency rather than engine size and ‘wow’ factor, I was saved by the discovery of the travel system and the fact that it’s simply a matter of learning to change which gadgets you lust after. These days you can buy baby products with real dad-appeal such as a baby monitor with night vision to a pram that will not just hold your double-shot latte but make it for you. Well, almost.

I’ve not been running since 1987 but the possibility is always there. So we bought the buggy with a ‘beach jogging mode’. And if you’re maybe going to take up running you should probably get the one with a speedometer. And a parasol (er, I can’t remember why but it made sense at the time).

I can’t actually get it through our front door but it does fit nicely into the cavernous boot of our new estate car – which incidentally does nearly 50 miles to the gallon.