10 Sanity Savers for single mums

Sanity saving advice for mums and mums-to-be. Simple ways to make life easier for single mums

1. Don’t beat yourself up
Don’t feel guilty for not being part of a two-parent set-up.
‘It’s better for my child to be living with me on my own, even if it’s a struggle sometimes, than live with me and his dad constantly rowing,’ says Desiree Simpson, mum to Taye, 14 months.

2. Don’t think the grass is greener
It’s easy to see a couple strolling hand in hand, pushing their baby buggy, and feel envious. But behind closed doors they could be at each other’s throats and sleeping in separate beds.

3. Build your own support network
‘Divvy up childcare with close friends and try and meet other mums through support groups for single parents,’ says Natasha Benenson, Advice Manager for the single parent charity Gingerbread. Starting a baby-sitting circle with other single mums ensures you each get a much-needed break.

4. Share resources
‘Transport can be massively expensive for families surviving on one income,’ says Natasha Benenson of Gingerbread. ‘Try car-pooling and sharing expenses to cut costs. It may be better to pay a friend for a lift and keep the money where it's needed rather than see it leave your social network.’  

5. Go online
If you feel lonely from time to time why not chat to other mums via forums on parenting websites? ‘I’ve met two really cool mums over the internet,’ says Marina Kenyon, who’s son Jade is four months. ‘Even though we still haven’t met, I know I can chat online to them whenever I’m having a bad day or just fancy a gossip!‘

6. Ask for help if you need it
‘I used to feel that if I asked people for favours they would look down on my situation,’ says Paula Allen, mum to Isobel, 17 months. ‘But when I finally did ask, most people were fine and didn’t judge me at all.’

7. Be prepared
‘Plan for all the little extras,’ says Natasha Benenson of Gingerbread. ‘Putting aside even a couple of pounds each month can make a big difference, especially during the summer holidays when you want to share trips and activities with your children.’

8.Check out single parent holidays
If you long for a bit of adult conversation on holiday and can’t go with friends, go online and look up holidays specifically for single parents. Designed to bring groups of lone mums and dads together, these vacations are fab for making new friends and helping you feel less isolated. 

9. Get the benefits you’re due
‘‘Make sure you get all of the benefits you are entitled to and keep up with changes to the system,’ says Natasha of Gingerbread. ‘As your working life and family situation evolves, so too will your benefit entitlements.’

10. Take care of yourself
As crucial as it is to nuture your baby’s needs, you also need to look after yourself. Even it’s just a long, hot bath or watching your favourite TV show, do something every day that’s just for YOU.  

For expert advice and information for single parents, contact Gingerbread’s freephone Single Parent Helpline on 0800 018 5026