10 ways to bond with your bump

It’s never too early to start bonding with your baby, so introduce yourself long before the birth   

Read all about it!

Feeling close to your baby is difficult in the early days, when the only sign that you’re pregnant is your growing attachment to the sick bucket!

During the first trimester changes to your body, both physically and emotionally, can overshadow any developing bond with your baby. It’s no surprise that dealing with permanent nausea, achy boobs, heartburn and exhaustion on a daily basis is enough to distract you from the amazing things happening inside you.

As the months progress, and your baby starts kicking to rival Wayne Rooney, it will be easier to feel closer to him, but there is a way to bond in the first few weeks before your flat tum disappears forever.

By spending time each day reading up on your baby’s development, monitoring each milestone and visualising what new skills he’s learned, you can start to feel closer to him. Get yourself a good step-buy-step guide to pregnancy and snuggle up on the sofa for some one-to-one time.

A touching story

The nerve endings on your baby’s skin corresponding to touch begin to develop as early as eight weeks into your pregnancy. At around 17 weeks you’ll feel your baby’s first few flutters of movement and soon enough you won’t be able to keep your hands off your bump.

From around 20 weeks your baby will start to feel you touching your bump. Research shows that unborn babies can distinguish between their parents touch, or that of a stranger.

Don’t be surprised if you gently push your bump and your baby pushes back. Softly touching or rubbing your belly is a great way to develop early communication with your baby. Rub your bump when your baby moves and build up an exchange of kicks and rubs. There is nothing quite as exciting as feeling your baby respond to your touch for the very first time.

Time for a massage

Now you know that your baby can feel and recognise your touch, why not
pamper yourself and your little one with a pregnancy aromatherapy massage?

Rub some lavender, mandarin or rose oil, all of which are safe to use after the first trimester, in clockwise movements around your bump, followed by long strokes from the top of your belly to the bottom. Get your partner involved too – daddy’s slow, gentle strokes will soothe your baby, while a well-earned bit of tlc will help you to relax and completely focus on your little one. (To check which oils are safe to use in pregnancy, visit essentialoilsonline.co.uk)

Keeping afloat

Let’s face it, none of us remember what it feels like inside the womb. But if you’re curious about what your baby’s experiencing, whip out your swimming cozzie and make like a water baby.

Aquanatal classes will not only keep you fit and fill you both with happy hormones, but being in the water gives you a good idea of how your baby feels inside the amniotic fluid.

The water supports your body, making you feel weightless – yes, even with a bump the size of Ben Nevis, which is exactly how your little one feels.

If you don’t fancy bobbing around in the local swimming baths, book yourself a floatation session instead where you’ll spend around an hour lying in a tank of warm Epsom salt solution, in complete darkness, listening to gentle music.

The salty water will help you to relax, float effortlessly and visualise what your baby is experiencing inside your womb.

To find an aquanatal class in your area, visit aquanatal.co.uk, or to book a floatation session contact floattankassociation.co.uk or call 020 7627 4962.

Settle down for a chat

Your baby is surrounded by sound inside the womb, from the rhythm of your heartbeat, to the gurgling of your hungry tummy, and from around 16 weeks, when his hearing has developed, your baby can hear it all. 

By 25 weeks he’s starting to hear sounds from outside the womb too and research shows that he might even recognise some of them after he’s born. He’s learning to recognise your voice and can distinguish it from other people’s. Even when he’s only a few hours old you’ll notice that he’s more likely to turn his head towards the sound of your voice when you speak than anyone else’s.

Talking and singing to your baby inside the womb is a great way to foster a relationship with him. You might feel a little silly talking out loud, but you’ll soon get used to it and enjoy having chats with your bump.

The sound of music

Unborn babies like music with a strong regular beat because it sounds like your heartbeat. Your baby’s movements should give you a strong indication of whether he approves of your tastes. So play him a selection of tunes to encourage his own tastes - you’ll soon suss out whether Mozart or McFly float his amniotic boat!

After he’s born you might find that music you played during pregnancy helps to pacify him. Studies show that music also contributes to your baby’s foundation for language skills - what more of an excuse do you need to sit back and chill out to your favourite sounds!

Something to meditate on

A relaxing soak in the bath is a great opportunity for you to devote some attention to your baby by watching your bump move as he kicks and stretches inside you. It’s also a great place to meditate.

Meditation is a good pregnancy relaxation method. Simply lie still, breathe deeply, completely relax and picture your baby. Meditation not only gives you a physical boost, helping you to breathe in a third more oxygen, but it’s a great way to spend some uninterrupted time focusing on feeling closer to your baby.

Bend and stretch

Yoga is another great way to relax. Not only does it prepare your body for labour and keeps you fit when you’re too big to pound away on the treadmill, but by helping you to feel calm and positive it will also benefit your baby.

The gentle movement of your body helps him to rock in the amniotic fluid while the feel good hormones you release during exercise pass across the placenta, giving your baby a boost.

Contact The British Wheel of Yoga for a list of yoga teachers in your area, bwy.org.uk or call 01529 306851.

Mind over matter

Hypnotherapy isn’t all about humiliating yourself in public. It’s actually a fantastic way to relax during pregnancy, while getting to know your baby at the same time.

A trained hypnotherapist will teach you how to use breathing and concentration techniques to tune out any distractions and send yourself into a state of deep relaxation. In turn this will help you to totally focus on your baby.

Regular hypnotherapy sessions will also help you to change your perception of pain and help you learn how to relax your body during labour. It’s a good idea to encourage your birth partner to learn a few hypnotherapy techniques to help you during labour too. For more information, contact hypnobirthing.org.uk

Pretty as a picture

Despite studying your scan pictures for hours on end, you still have very little idea who or what your baby really looks like. Now there is a way you can see your baby before the birth – by booking yourself a 4-D scan. At around £220 a pop, it’s not cheap, but it’s worth it to see a video of your little one sucking his tiny thumb and hiccupping inside you.

The level of detail is extraordinary, you can count his little fingers and toes and you can rest easy in the knowledge that he hasn’t inherited Uncle George’s ears long before you give birth.

Turn to M&B’s classified advertising section for more information.

Daddy’s here too!

While mums are said to have a biochemical bond with their babies, which connects them before they even leave the womb, research shows that the same can be said for dads too. Babies respond to their father’s touch and either their heart rate slows down or in some cases speeds up.

In the last month of pregnancy, your baby will learn to recognise his daddy’s voice too and when he hears it outside the womb, he’ll turn his body towards its familiar sound.

Mums Tips for prenatal bonding

Can we please split these up into mini boxes and scatter them around the page?

‘I read that my baby’s eyes opened at around 27 weeks and that when I exposed my bump to the sun or a bright light she saw a red glow. So I got a torch and moved it against my belly, it was so exciting when Caitlin kicked back. She even followed the light with her hand a few times.’

Jennifer Masters, 32, mum to Caitlin four months.

‘I’ll never forget seeing Jacob’s face at my 4-D scan. It was so clear, he looked just like my husband and when he scratched his little nose, I was so overwhelmed that I burst into tears. Seeing the little person inside my tummy made me feel so much closer to him and from then on I spent the last few weeks talking to him constantly.’
Charlotte Price, 34, mum to Jacob, six months.

‘In the last few weeks of my pregnancy Cody began kicking furiously every time the Eastenders theme tuned played. Even in the first few weeks after her birth, she turned towards the TV whenever she heard those familiar opening.’

Louisa McBride, 29, mum to Cody, three months.