20 ways to bond with your baby

Bonding with your baby is so important so here are 20 ways in which you can make sure you create that closeness. 

1 Take a babymoon
Friends and family will be dying to meet your new arrival but for the first few weeks be firm in limiting visitors and phone calls. This is your time to get to know your newborn, without worrying about everyone else.

2 Believe in breast
Your baby’s suckling action triggers intense bursts of the ‘love hormone’ oxytocin, which in turn enhance your feelings of love, trust and affection – all the better for learning to cope with being a mother.

3 Get back to nature…
Skin-to-skin contact is known to promote maternal bonding. But get dads in on the act by stripping your baby down to his nappy and laying him on your partner’s bare chest. Aaah.

4… and let Daddy do bathtime
Research by energy company e.on has shown that babies who are bathed by their fathers at least three times a week are significantly less likely to experience difficulties making and keeping friends later on.

5 Get silly
From blowing raspberries on a tiny tummy to tumbling around with a boisterous toddler, physical contact reduces stress and boosts feelings of wellbeing for everyone involved.

6 Be a pushy mum
Parent-facing pushchairs are best when it comes to bonding, and sales are up 28% since last year. ‘It’s good to transport your baby in a position where she can communicate with you,’ says John Lewis nursery advisor Sonia Burke.

7 Pump iron
A US study by researchers at Penn State University has suggested slightly anaemic mothers have more difficulty bonding with their newborns. Try an iron supplement like Spatone (£6.49, spatoneshop.co.uk).

8 Chat away
‘Talking to your baby, however young, is the first step in developing his communication skills and helps him feel secure,’ says Liz Attenborough of the Talk To Your Baby campaign.

9  Put her in a sling
According to research, babies cry less when they are carried. A sling lets you keep your baby close to you, while still allowing you to carry on with your daily life.

10 Picture this
Babies never tire of looking at faces, so surround them with photos to strengthen their relationship with family members. Little ones will love a photo cube – have a look on totsnweenies.co.uk for some lovely ones.

11 Be a book worm
‘Babies are never too young to enjoy a story,’ says Rosemary Clarke, head of Bookstart, which aims to get more children enjoying books. ‘She won’t understand the words, but hearing the rhythm of your voice will make her feel close to you.’

12 Be heaven scent
Newborns rely heavily on their sense of smell, so a comforter that carries your scent will reassure her. Sleep with an old T-shirt or muslin before the birth, then place it next to your baby at bedtime.

13 Make a splash
Sharing a bath can help your older children bond with your newborn, especially if you give them important jobs like singing to the baby or sponging his tummy.

14 Log on together
The internet is often cited as the root of all evil, but a study commissioned by games developer PopCap Games revealed 92% of parents and grandparents said going online together (for a limited time only!) improved bonding. Log on to bbc.co.uk/cbeebies to find toddler-friendly games.

15 Rub it in
Baby massage is such an intimate experience that in many areas of the UK you can find free or heavily subsidised courses. ‘Massage teaches you to understand subtle body language, so you can intervene if your baby’s becoming distressed,’ says Wendy Nicolson of the International Association of Infant Massage.

16 Snuggle up
Regular morning snuggles under the duvet also promote feel-good hormones. But you’re not advised to co-sleep with your baby. Never share a bed if you or your partner smoke, have been drinking alcohol or are taking drugs or medication that make you drowsy, or if you are very tired.

17 Talk in signs
Take your baby along to special sign-language classes and you’ll develop a greater understanding of each other. ‘Signing enhances your mutual bond because if your baby can communicate using it, there are no limits to the experiences you can share,’ says baby signing teacher Christine Matthews. 

18 Take the plunge
Babies find the water calming  so taking him swimming is a chance to relax together. He’ll also benefit from your undivided attention in the pool, especially if there’s normally an older sibling around.

19 Do some baby-gazing
‘Sometimes bonding with your baby can be as simple as just sitting staring at him,’ says health visitor Anne White. ‘Lie him on the floor between your legs and just watch. You’ll appreciate what an amazing thing you’ve created.’

20 Stop worrying!
Babies are born with an instinctive attachment to their mother. Even if it takes time for a total bond to develop, this does not mean you won’t end up having a wonderful, lifelong relationship with your child.