Being a mum

Being a mum can feel like constant hard work, but it’s also the most rewarding job you’ll ever do. Let’s hear it for being a mum!  

It’s 6am, you’ve only had three hours’ sleep, there’s baby sick in your hair and your little one’s still crying… Who could blame you for wondering why you ever wanted to be a mum in the first place?

The early months with your newborn can be the most stressful, confusing and downright exhausting you’ll ever experience. But it’s not all bad. We hereby give you permission to take five minutes out of your feeding/winding/changing schedule, put your feet up and remind yourself why being a mum is the best job in the world – honest!

Your life has a purpose

Ever felt like you were drifting aimlessly through life? Not any more. Now you’re a mum, you have one clear, unshakable goal – to bring your little one up to the very best of your abilities.

‘I love knowing that I’m the most important person in my little guy’s life, and how I raise him will have an effect on the man he becomes,’ says Sarah Kelly, mum to Adam, eight months. ‘And it’s pretty special to know that all his smiles and giggles are down to me, too.’

There’s a greater sense of freedom

It’s easy to feel trapped by motherhood – when was the last time you popped to the pub on the spur of the moment, spent Sunday in bed with the papers or went on a spending spree without timing it around feeds? But in many respects, you have more freedom now than you’ve ever had before.

‘Nothing beats knowing that if the sun shines, we can stroll to the park, or being able to hit the shops on a weekday when everyone else is at work and it’s quiet,’ says Cheryl Blake, mum to Isabella, three months. Admit it – it’s better than being part of the rat-race every day.

You have cuddles on tap

Having a down day? Nothing wipes the frown off your face like a snuggle with your newborn. And he’s always happy to oblige, no matter what time of day and night.

‘I even look forward to night feeds because there’s something very special about those sleepy middle-of-the-night cuddles,’ says Jenny Jones, mum to Annie, 11 weeks. Go on, pick him up and give him a squeeze – see, that’s why you wanted to be a mum!

You can relive your childhood

Trips to the zoo, splashing in the paddling pool, hours spent messing about on the play mat… Having a baby gives you the chance to revisit all those frivolous pastimes from your own childhood.

‘I spent last summer hanging around the paddling pool in the local park, wishing I had an excuse to get in – all the mums looked so cool!’ says Ashia Parmar, mum to Rani, four months. ‘This year, I’ve been in just about every sunny day, thanks to Rani.’ So, whether your passion is Lego or Barbie, soft play or the sand pit, go ahead and indulge with your little playmate for company.

You brighten up other people’s days

It’s impossible not to feel warm and fuzzy when every passer-by stops to peer into your pram, emerging with a broad smile and a ‘isn’t he gorgeous’. Then there are your parents, who gush and coo over your little bundle, and your friends, who are itching for a cuddle… Just by bringing your baby into the world, you’ve given so much joy to so many people.

‘Whenever someone stops to talk to Ben and goes away smiling, I feel so proud that my little boy has brought a bit of happiness to their day,’ says Rebecca Marchant, mum to seven-month-old Ben. Awww!

You’re part of a special club 

Being a mum grants you membership of a very select society. You’ll natter to mums in the doctor’s surgery, exchange knowing smiles with fellow buggy-pushers and compare birth stories with the woman next door, and all because of your hot new accessory – your baby. Suddenly you have something in common with a whole new section of society, and you feel more connected to the world as a result.

‘I used to be horribly shy, but now I have the perfect ice-breaker,’ admits Laura Evans, mum to Bethan, nine weeks. ‘I can talk to anyone, just by asking how old their baby is.’

You’ll probably find your new friendships are more intimate, too – your shared experience means you can skip the small talk and bond on a deeper level than you ever did with your work mates or drinking buddies. Soon, you’ll be discussing piles, poo and leaky breasts without even batting an eyelid.

There’s no need to sweat the small stuff

Having a baby gives you a real sense of perspective. Pranged the car? Never mind, it’s only metal. Forgotten your friend’s birthday? She’ll forgive you. Late for lunch, again, oh well! Compared to your baby’s health and happiness, nothing seems important any more, and you’re more contented as a result.

‘Everyone told me I was mad to move house when Jaime was only eight weeks old,’ says Heidi Grange, mum to 15-week-old Jaime. ‘But even though I’m a bit of a stress-head, I was so wrapped up in Jaime that everything washed over me.’ The new chilled-out you starts here.

Every little thing is an achievement

Pre-baby, you measured your achievements in terms of pay rises, promotions and bonuses. These days, you’re happy if you manage to do a load of laundry while your baby naps. There’s something very satisfying about setting yourself lower standards – and being so proud when you meet them.

‘I love the feeling at the end of the day when Owen’s in bed, the house is clean, the ironing is folded and I can relax,’ says Claire Morgan, mum to four-month-old Owen. ‘It’s far more rewarding than working all day, rushing home, cooking dinner, clearing up and then collapsing into bed.’ And because no one expects you to get anything at all done with a new baby, it’s so much sweeter when you do. If only you got paid for it!

Your social calendar is jam-packed

Monday – baby group. Tuesday – swimming. Wednesday – music class. Thursday – baby yoga. Now you’re a mum, you have a better social life than ever, even if everything happens at 10am rather than 10pm and you’re drinking tea, not G&T.

‘My biggest worry about having a baby was being lonely, but I couldn’t have been more wrong,’ says Emma Wright, mum to Joe, six months. ‘Every day, there’s a different activity, and I’ve met some great people.’ Who’d have thought singing The wheels on the bus in public could be so much fun?

You have more empathy

Long after the pregnancy hormones have left your body, you’re still prone to
sobbing over RSPCA adverts, hospital dramas and any sad news story involving children. Being a mum gives you bags of empathy and makes you a more caring, loving person all round.

You’re also likely to have renewed respect for your own parents, making your relationship stronger. ‘I was rotten to my mum as a teenager,’ confesses Louise Elland, mum to Romy, four months. ‘Now I’m a mum, I realise what a great job she did for me, and feel so guilty for all the times I told her I hated her.’ See? Your baby really does bring out the best in you.

You’ve never been so proud in your life

Having a baby is the best possible boost to your self-esteem. ‘Nothing in the world compares to watching her sleep and thinking, “I made that”,’ says Deborah Winters, mum to Scarlett, nine weeks. ‘Whenever someone tells me how gorgeous she is, I feel so proud I could burst.’

So next time you’re shattered and those regrets creep up on you, take a good look at your baby. His cheeky smile, podgy thighs, peachy skin and fluffy hair, not to mention how much he’s grown – all that is down to you. And no matter what you do, he loves you to bits. Don’t you deserve to be proud of yourself?

Your great post-baby body

Post-baby it’s not all saggy boobs and stretchmarks we promise! Having a baby can do wonders for your body and your health. Here’s why…

• You have fantastic boobs. Most women go up at least a cup size in pregnancy, and they’ll stay big and bouncy as long as you’re breastfeeding, taking around six weeks to shrink back to normal when you stop.

• The more children you have, the less likely you are to get breast cancer – especially if you have your first baby before the age of 30.

• Far from leaving you somewhat, er, slack down below, having a baby can actually make your vagina feel tighter, especially if you’ve been obsessive about your pelvic floor exercises. Great sex guaranteed (if you’ve got the energy!).

• Breastfeeding? Stick to around 2000 calories a day, and watch those pregnancy pounds fall off.

• Your reprieve from periods will continue. If you’re breastfeeding, you may not have a period until you’ve stopped completely, although they may return when you start weaning. Even if you bottle-feed from day one, you may still have another eight to 10 weeks period-free.

• You’re less likely to develop cervical cancer. The risk reduces even further if you have your baby later in life.