Parents warned of 'killing their children with kindness'

Parents are killing their children with kindness, warns a family coach and author.

If your life is your children then you are doing something wrong, according to author David Code, who has written a book saying parents should put their relationship first.

He warns parents to re-evaluate how they raise their children before it is too late.

An extreme focus on your children is doing nothing to prepare them for independence, says the author of To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First.

According to Mr Code, by giving children too much attention and cushioning them from life’s downs, parents are raising people who are likely to become self-centred, obnoxious and unemployable. He calls this over parenting and says the consequences of it are “dire”.

Mr Code says: “We tried to create this perfect childhood for our little darlings, and we were so intent on coddling them that we lost the idea of weaning them towards self-reliance. We are creating young adults who are our future bosses. They’ve grown up being the centre of the universe and expect to remain so, and they don’t even have the basic skills of co-operation and teamwork to survive in a job environment. They’ve been praised and protected for so long that their sense of entitlement makes them unbearable.”

Mr Code calls the situation a ‘crisis’, although he does not blame parents.  He says: “Yes, these parents are pushy but there’s no malice involved. These are good-hearted parents but they’re killing their children with kindness.”

The former newsreader Kirsty Young has launched an attack on pushy mothers who want to turn their children into baby geniuses.

The mother of two said pushy parents were a "modern disease". She also criticised mothers who leave their careers to raise children and live out their dreams through their children.

Kirsty Young says: "We've become much more child-centric as a society; it's a kind of badge of honor to say your life revolves around your children, and I think people these days are preoccupied with children as an extension of their own success."

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