Skip to content
By Kathryn Blundell
In the current issue of Mother & Baby magazine, deputy editor Kathryn Blundell wrote an article talking honestly and frankly about why she decided not to breastfeed her children. Many national newspapers, including The Daily Mail and the Observer, picked up on this article over the weekend and a growing number of people have been commenting on it online, via the Mail’s and Observer’s websites and various parenting websites including Askamum’s community boards and Facebook page.
Kathryn told AAM her reasons behind wanting to write such a controversial feature, and why she stands by it in spite of the many negative – and sometimes unpleasantly personal – comments she’s received. “As a mum, I’m pleased to share the benefit of my experience and offer support to anyone who needs it. It was in this spirit that I wrote the viewpoint article in the July issue of Mother & Baby magazine, ‘I formula fed, so what!’."My motivation behind writing this feature was to give a voice to those many women who simply do not want to breastfeed, and as a result of this choice have felt guilty, alienated and distressed. "I also wrote with humour as I wanted to take a more relaxed approach to the topic, in a climate where unfortunately the type of milk a woman feeds her baby seems so open to serious judgement and criticism.
"Having a baby leaves a mum in a very vulnerable position and I feel it’s important for all mums to feel confident and comfortable with themselves in order to do what’s best for their baby. "If that choice is to breastfeed, then of course this is really fantastic, as it is certainly the best food for a baby – as I stated in my feature. But, as I also made clear in my feature, breastfeeding just wasn’t for me, and I was happy to take the formula route."As a supporter of all mums and mums-to-be, Mother & Baby magazine continues to promote breastfeeding as the norm and offers support and advice on feeding – which is just one part of successful parenting.”
Miranda Levy, editor of Mother & Baby, said, “Mother & Baby remains and will continue to be a huge supporter of breastfeeding. Readers may remember that last summer we featured a cover model breastfeeding her baby: the first time a magazine has used such an image in the UK. "This was to coincide with our survey: Let's Make Britain Breastfeeding Friendly, which gained national press and TV coverage. We also offer help and advice to women on a monthly basis. "Our May issue included a six page 'get started, stick with it' feature on breastfeeding, our current edition has a guide to breastpumps, and our issue on sale next week has expert advice on surviving painful feeding on the early days."
What do you think about a woman’s choice to breastfeed – or not? Let us know Worried about breastfeeding? Get practical advice here Follow the debate on our Facebook page.
Upload stories, photos or videos direct to the site .
Add your comment
Sign in You must be signed in to submit a comment.
Why I spoke out about breastfeeding
Subject
Your comment
By submitting your comment, you agree to adhere to the askamum Terms and conditions
You must be logged in to subscribe to a topic
Login or register now
lizzieborden6 says
RE: Why I spoke out about breastfeeding
it has been suggested that the article would make somebody struggling with breastfeeding feel a little better. the point is...the article wasn't about struggling with breastfeeding difficulties, it was about CHOOSING not to breastfeed from the very beginning for a number of bizarre reasons. when i had my first child, i felt like i was the only person in the world that didn't just LOVE every minute of breastfeeding, but it's been great with my second. each child is different, i guess. there really should be more articles for those of us that breastfed, strongly believe in its benefits, but hated every minute of it! anyway, the point is....this woman didn't even consider the option for her baby purely because she wanted to reserve her "fun bags" for her and her husband's amusement and thought the idea of her little one latching on was "creepy". first of all, anyone that uses the words "fun bags" to describe their boobs i just an embarassment. i'm sorry, but i just think that if you put your sexual gratification above the health and wellbeing of your child....why have children?? putting your child's needs before you own is called PARENTING. i didn't exactly LOVE not being able to drink or eat certain foods while pregnant (aside from the huge weight gain, hip pain, back pain, post-childbirth stitches, etc), but i didn't say, "oh well...i'm not going to let pregnancy get in the way of my social life or love of booze...bring on the margaritas!" even just breastfeeding for the first few days has its benefits, so regardless of whether or not you choose to do it for a few days, weeks, months, or years, in my opinion, the personal, temporary, inconvenience is worth it for the massive benefits to your child. obviously, i'm not talking about people that, for whatever reason, can't physically or psychologically cope with it. and i do think there should be more support and less guilt out there for bottle feeders. it's just that if you choose not to breasfeed, let it be after you have all of the "facts", and not because you value your husband suckling your "fun bags" above all else. geeze, at least let it be because you had to go back to work to support your family and couldn't be hassled to pump every few hours....that's a more valid reason than preserving "fun bags". oh, and as far as breastfeeding leaving you with boobs down to here....that's pregnancy and age you can blame, not breastfeeding. i DO think, though, that sometimes women can feel bullied into breastfeeding, and that's not the right approach either. having said that, if you were a smoker, you could use the same argument about feeling "bullied" to give up smoking for your child. anyway, i just think that there are a lot of young mothers-to-be out there that might read an article like this and feel like their fears and worries surrounding breastfeeding are validated by somebody in a highly influential position saying they felt it was "creepy". breasts are so over-sexualized, it's like we've forgotten what their biological purpose is. i'm not denying that breasts are part of a woman's sexuality, but if you choose not to breasfeed....please let it be for a reason other than you value you and your partner's sexual pleasure above the health benefits to your child. i mean, did she not consider that babies come from VAGINAS if sex was the main priority in her life?? perhaps she'll be reminded of the benefits of breastfeeding when she and her husband have to stop playing with her "fun bags" every 5 minutes to go tend to a baby screaming and in pain from being sick. seems that would be more detrimental to your sex life. (and no, i'm not saying breastfed babies never get sick).
it has been suggested that the article would make somebody struggling with breastfeeding feel a little better. the point is...the article wasn't about struggling with breastfeeding difficulties, it was about CHOOSING not to breastfeed from the very beginning for a number of bizarre reasons. when i had my first child, i felt like i was the only person in the world that didn't just LOVE every minute of breastfeeding, but it's been great with my second. each child is different, i guess. there really should be more articles for those of us that breastfed, strongly believe in its benefits, but hated every minute of it!
anyway, the point is....this woman didn't even consider the option for her baby purely because she wanted to reserve her "fun bags" for her and her husband's amusement and thought the idea of her little one latching on was "creepy". first of all, anyone that uses the words "fun bags" to describe their boobs i just an embarassment. i'm sorry, but i just think that if you put your sexual gratification above the health and wellbeing of your child....why have children?? putting your child's needs before you own is called PARENTING. i didn't exactly LOVE not being able to drink or eat certain foods while pregnant (aside from the huge weight gain, hip pain, back pain, post-childbirth stitches, etc), but i didn't say, "oh well...i'm not going to let pregnancy get in the way of my social life or love of booze...bring on the margaritas!" even just breastfeeding for the first few days has its benefits, so regardless of whether or not you choose to do it for a few days, weeks, months, or years, in my opinion, the personal, temporary, inconvenience is worth it for the massive benefits to your child. obviously, i'm not talking about people that, for whatever reason, can't physically or psychologically cope with it. and i do think there should be more support and less guilt out there for bottle feeders. it's just that if you choose not to breasfeed, let it be after you have all of the "facts", and not because you value your husband suckling your "fun bags" above all else. geeze, at least let it be because you had to go back to work to support your family and couldn't be hassled to pump every few hours....that's a more valid reason than preserving "fun bags". oh, and as far as breastfeeding leaving you with boobs down to here....that's pregnancy and age you can blame, not breastfeeding.
i DO think, though, that sometimes women can feel bullied into breastfeeding, and that's not the right approach either. having said that, if you were a smoker, you could use the same argument about feeling "bullied" to give up smoking for your child. anyway, i just think that there are a lot of young mothers-to-be out there that might read an article like this and feel like their fears and worries surrounding breastfeeding are validated by somebody in a highly influential position saying they felt it was "creepy". breasts are so over-sexualized, it's like we've forgotten what their biological purpose is. i'm not denying that breasts are part of a woman's sexuality, but if you choose not to breasfeed....please let it be for a reason other than you value you and your partner's sexual pleasure above the health benefits to your child. i mean, did she not consider that babies come from VAGINAS if sex was the main priority in her life?? perhaps she'll be reminded of the benefits of breastfeeding when she and her husband have to stop playing with her "fun bags" every 5 minutes to go tend to a baby screaming and in pain from being sick. seems that would be more detrimental to your sex life. (and no, i'm not saying breastfed babies never get sick).
08 July 2010 09:09
madasa says
I think this has caused upset among many mothers for 3 reasons. 1. - The light hearted tone has been read as shoddy journalism/shock tactics... the use of phrases and words like "creepy", "fun bags" and "couldn't be fagged" for example, seem out of place when discussing a topic like infant nutrition. Yes "the type of milk a woman feeds her baby seems so open to serious judgement and criticism." - that is because the decision is one of the ost important ones you'll make for your child and will have many long and short term consequences. 2. It is blatnatly insulting to breastfeeding mums. Turn the article on its head and write it from the perspective of a breastfeeding mum who chose not to bottlefeed because it's "creepy", and paint bottlefeeding parents and supporters as narrow minded, intrusive and judgemental and you would get just as much hue and cry, if not more! 3. Lastly and most importantly - the article contain misinformation about breastfeeding! I would like to urge Ms Blundell to print a correction re the following points: a) There are a number of factors which cause breasts to sag, and at the moment, it is thought that breastfeeding is not one of them. Age, number of pregnancies, genetics and lifestyle all play a part.... which means that you can have saggy breasts at 30 having never breastfed in your life, or you can be 40 and still have some life in your "fun bags" after having breastfed your children. With this in mind, should "it will make them saggy" REALLY be a consideration when making this choice for your baby?! b) Breastfeeding does not stop you drinking alcohol in moderation. (I would hope that anyone caring for an infant would have the sense not to get roaring drunk, so even if you FF, you're unlikely to drink that much anyway! in the same vein, HAVING A BABY puts a damper on your social life.... regardless of how you feed... if you want to go out and get hammered every weekend, then perhaps now is not the right time to be HAVING a baby?! :-/ ) c) The "supposed" health benefits of breastfeeding have been proven, time and again. Please could she clarify just what is she getting at here?
I think this has caused upset among many mothers for 3 reasons.
1. - The light hearted tone has been read as shoddy journalism/shock tactics... the use of phrases and words like "creepy", "fun bags" and "couldn't be fagged" for example, seem out of place when discussing a topic like infant nutrition. Yes "the type of milk a woman feeds her baby seems so open to serious judgement and criticism." - that is because the decision is one of the ost important ones you'll make for your child and will have many long and short term consequences.
2. It is blatnatly insulting to breastfeeding mums. Turn the article on its head and write it from the perspective of a breastfeeding mum who chose not to bottlefeed because it's "creepy", and paint bottlefeeding parents and supporters as narrow minded, intrusive and judgemental and you would get just as much hue and cry, if not more!
3. Lastly and most importantly - the article contain misinformation about breastfeeding! I would like to urge Ms Blundell to print a correction re the following points:
a) There are a number of factors which cause breasts to sag, and at the moment, it is thought that breastfeeding is not one of them. Age, number of pregnancies, genetics and lifestyle all play a part.... which means that you can have saggy breasts at 30 having never breastfed in your life, or you can be 40 and still have some life in your "fun bags" after having breastfed your children. With this in mind, should "it will make them saggy" REALLY be a consideration when making this choice for your baby?!
b) Breastfeeding does not stop you drinking alcohol in moderation. (I would hope that anyone caring for an infant would have the sense not to get roaring drunk, so even if you FF, you're unlikely to drink that much anyway! in the same vein, HAVING A BABY puts a damper on your social life.... regardless of how you feed... if you want to go out and get hammered every weekend, then perhaps now is not the right time to be HAVING a baby?! :-/ )
c) The "supposed" health benefits of breastfeeding have been proven, time and again. Please could she clarify just what is she getting at here?
01 July 2010 17:09
MrsDB says
Tori de Bruyne Such a shame that a magazine designed for parents who are pregnant with their first child or parents of a baby or young child has had to resort to FHM,Zoo or Nuts genre of writing to gain attention. Surely the Editor in Chief knew exactly the kettle of fish she was opening by allowing her deputy editor to broadcast her personal opinion on why breastfeeding is creepy and why only her partner should be allowed near her fun bags. Fun bags? Really? Do we need to lower the quality of writing to match that of a teenage boys? And why is a senior member of staff allowed to abuse her position in this manner? There are plenty of women and men out there who read the magazine and would love a chance to feature in it. By allowing (and not stating who Kathryn Blundell is to M&B) this kind of negativity from a payrolled staff member is showing the desperate attempts you and your magazine are reaching. To imply that breastfeeding is the cause of sagging breast is misleading. Pregnancy, weight gain and loss, sun damage and genetics play a huge part in it. I wonder how many soon to be mothers you have discouraged by your shock tactics 'bloody nipples', the implication that every health visitor and other human being on the planet is going to harrass and abuse them if they chose to bottlefeed and that alcohol is going to be the primary interest as well as having copious amounts of sexual pleasure with their partner fondling their 'fun bags'? The very premise of the phrase 'could'nt be fagged' suggest the writing calibre to be that of a new writer who is not in touch with the magazine they are working for. The sheer stupidity of both editors in thinking this article would be light hearted and cause great publicity show arrogance and vitriol towards the very women who buy this magazine (and keep them in employment) and who choose to breastfeed. Kathyrn refers to breastfeeders as part of the 'milk mafia'. Why are we being negatised? Why is this permitted? A better choice to go with would have been to use the voice of the readers. A debate of two sides. Not an attack against breastfeeders by someone who should be neutral and above name calling and sterotyping. This latest M&B stunt smacks of the stupidity of the article ' when your baby is not perfect' ( sp) and went on about birth defects and abnomalities and how those babies were not perfect. How many people did you offend and alienate with that clever piece of journalism? Finally, by your attitude you have most probably made bottlefeeders feel they are in danger of being verbally abused by all and sundry and breastfeeders feel as if they cannot celebrate their choice and they cannot be sexual beings by the 'very idea of having a baby latching on where a lover has been'. Such a shame you think this is great PR. It is not.
01 July 2010 11:44
TheBundleJungle says
I'm getting rather tired of having all my comments deleted... Either way, how does this sit: "I Breastfed. SO WHAT?" You can keep your Dr Browns, says Elle. Giving your baby Breastmilk is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s right up there with sleeping through the night as the dealmaker that proves you’re a modern woman and more than just a mother. Formula feeding: the most popular way to feed your baby. But what if, like me, you really don’t fancy it? For some breastfeeders, ‘not really fancying it’ translates into ‘concealing the fact that you're finding breastfeeding difficult’. So visits from health visitors are pre-empted by the scrabble to hide your dark circles under three layers of foundation. ‘What, oh that breastshield. It was a present from a well-meaning relative’ Hmm. But, why the panic? Sure, formula can take the edge off of breastfeeding – it’s quicker, you can see how much your baby is getting and you can wake up your partner to give a feed in the middle of the night without having to get out of bed. Then there are studies that show it’s not that much different to breastfeeding, and stomach upsets are a thing of the past. But even the convenience and supposed similarities of formula couldn’t induce me to stick a bottle into a bawling baby’s mouth. HANDS ON After nine months of anticipation, preparation and impatience, as soon as the birth was here I wanted to keep my baby close, and feed them myself. There was nothing more I wanted to do with my body than continue to care for my baby. I also wanted to give my boobs a much needed boost, which, after twenty two years, still hadn’t quite filled out. They’re part of my sexuality, true – though not just fun bags, but breasts! And when you have that attitude (and I don’t see any reason to change it), seeing your teeny, tiny, innocent baby latching on to a bottle where only processed cow’s milk has been before feels, well, a little bit creepy! BOOBS WON I don’t think I’m the only one, either – 52% of mums are still breastfeeding after six weeks. Ask most who persisted why they stuck with it and you’ll hear tales of constipation and - the drama! – colic. But I often wonder whether many of these women, like me, just couldn’t be fagged or even just felt like co-sleeping at night? My reasons for not formula feeding might not be in the league of ‘hungry baby milk time’, but they make sense to me and I hope some women can be reassured by my honesty. I wasn’t always so confident about being an out-and-proud breastfeeding fan. I recall one sunny afternoon when, happily feeding my baby in the park, ducks quacking in the distance, a passing stranger – also a mum – asked me whether I was breastfeeding. Reeling from the impertinence of such a personal question (and anyway, wasn’t the baby latched onto my breast a giveaway?) I hesitated to answer. Say ‘no’ and I’d be a liar. Say ‘yes’ and, from the pursing of her lips and arch of her brow, it was clear I’d be marked as a lazy, perverted mum, straight from the Neanderthal school of parenting. The clock was ticking. Liar? Pervert? I plumped for pervert. ‘You should really find a more private place to do that’ she said, flouncing off. Thanks, sister. Great advice. THE WHITE STUFF So, time for a reality check. Breastmilk is nutritionally perfect for your baby, filled with unique nutrients and the very best thing for your baby’s health – tailored on demand – and most of us can lactate. No, it’s not A-grade, it’s normal and won’t turn my baby into clingy or demanding for the rest of their life. Nor is
I'm getting rather tired of having all my comments deleted...
Either way, how does this sit:
"I Breastfed. SO WHAT?"
You can keep your Dr Browns, says Elle. Giving your baby Breastmilk is nothing to be ashamed of.
It’s right up there with sleeping through the night as the dealmaker that proves you’re a modern woman and more than just a mother. Formula feeding: the most popular way to feed your baby. But what if, like me, you really don’t fancy it?
For some breastfeeders, ‘not really fancying it’ translates into ‘concealing the fact that you're finding breastfeeding difficult’. So visits from health visitors are pre-empted by the scrabble to hide your dark circles under three layers of foundation. ‘What, oh that breastshield. It was a present from a well-meaning relative’ Hmm.
But, why the panic? Sure, formula can take the edge off of breastfeeding – it’s quicker, you can see how much your baby is getting and you can wake up your partner to give a feed in the middle of the night without having to get out of bed.
Then there are studies that show it’s not that much different to breastfeeding, and stomach upsets are a thing of the past. But even the convenience and supposed similarities of formula couldn’t induce me to stick a bottle into a bawling baby’s mouth.
HANDS ON
After nine months of anticipation, preparation and impatience, as soon as the birth was here I wanted to keep my baby close, and feed them myself. There was nothing more I wanted to do with my body than continue to care for my baby. I also wanted to give my boobs a much needed boost, which, after twenty two years, still hadn’t quite filled out.
They’re part of my sexuality, true – though not just fun bags, but breasts!
And when you have that attitude (and I don’t see any reason to change it), seeing your teeny, tiny, innocent baby latching on to a bottle where only processed cow’s milk has been before feels, well, a little bit creepy!
BOOBS WON
I don’t think I’m the only one, either – 52% of mums are still breastfeeding after six weeks. Ask most who persisted why they stuck with it and you’ll hear tales of constipation and - the drama! – colic. But I often wonder whether many of these women, like me, just couldn’t be fagged or even just felt like co-sleeping at night? My reasons for not formula feeding might not be in the league of ‘hungry baby milk time’, but they make sense to me and I hope some women can be reassured by my honesty.
I wasn’t always so confident about being an out-and-proud breastfeeding fan.
I recall one sunny afternoon when, happily feeding my baby in the park, ducks quacking in the distance, a passing stranger – also a mum – asked me whether I was breastfeeding. Reeling from the impertinence of such a personal question (and anyway, wasn’t the baby latched onto my breast a giveaway?) I hesitated to answer. Say ‘no’ and I’d be a liar. Say ‘yes’ and, from the pursing of her lips and arch of her brow, it was clear I’d be marked as a lazy, perverted mum, straight from the Neanderthal school of parenting. The clock was ticking. Liar? Pervert? I plumped for pervert. ‘You should really find a more private place to do that’ she said, flouncing off. Thanks, sister. Great advice.
THE WHITE STUFF
So, time for a reality check. Breastmilk is nutritionally perfect for your baby, filled with unique nutrients and the very best thing for your baby’s health – tailored on demand – and most of us can lactate. No, it’s not A-grade, it’s normal and won’t turn my baby into clingy or demanding for the rest of their life. Nor is
01 July 2010 06:28
yummymummy103 says
MUMS are you reading this?!!! What's really interesting here is that my original comment had been edited. Does UK not promote freedom of speech. I thought this forum was intended for the readers to freely express their OPINION about this controversial topic/article. Interesting how Mother & Baby Editor Kathryn Blundell was allowed to speak/write in the most ignorant form of fashion regarding breastfeeding and was published nationally while my comment on her idiotic opinion had been modified? This is very interesting stance from Mother & Baby (Ask A Mum) and quite frankly very disappointed
MUMS are you reading this?!!!
What's really interesting here is that my original comment had been edited. Does UK not promote freedom of speech. I thought this forum was intended for the readers to freely express their OPINION about this controversial topic/article.
Interesting how Mother & Baby Editor Kathryn Blundell was allowed to speak/write in the most ignorant form of fashion regarding breastfeeding and was published nationally while my comment on her idiotic opinion had been modified?
This is very interesting stance from Mother & Baby (Ask A Mum) and quite frankly very disappointed
30 June 2010 15:24
Parenting Tools
