What men think about pregnant sex

What do you think he’s thinking about pregnant sex? And are you right? Men reveal what they really want when it comes to pregnant sex

By askamum

Pregnant couple in bed

1 You think I’m too fat to fancy
 
He thinks I love her gorgeous shape

‘I was delighted when my wife Claire started to show,’ says Ben, 30. ‘Knowing I had made her body change made me feel powerful and sexy. And the fact she suddenly had really big boobs didn’t hurt.’

While some men do get freaked out when your body starts to change, it’s less about your changing body and more about what it means. ‘Most women think that men who go off sex at this stage do so because they’re fat,’ says sex expert Dr Petra Boynton (drpetra.co.uk). ‘This is almost never true. Most men love to see you become voluptuous. It’s more likely that the bump is bringing the situation home to him. He’s only just dealing with the reality and responsibility of impending fatherhood.’

2 You think The positions are ridiculous

He thinks Wahey!

Once that baby bump is blooming, most couples prefer woman-on-top and rear-entry positions that won’t put pressure on your baby. You might feel self-conscious but he’s probably jumping for joy.

‘While we were trying for a baby, we got into the habit of me going on top,’ says dad-to-be Simon, 30. ‘But after about four months we needed to make room for the baby and started doing it doggy style. It was a real novelty and Kerry even said being on all fours helped ease her backache!’

Sex therapist Rachel Foux says pregnancy is a time to experiment. ‘From the second trimester it’s not a good idea to do anything that puts pressure on your bump. Rear-entry positions are good in this respect, plus they offer deeper penetration,’ she says. ‘It’s also a good time to introduce sex toys; you might not have the stamina to hold the positions that used to do it for you.’

>> 50 great sex facts for pregnant girls and new mums
>> What he really thinks about your bump

3 You think I smell/ taste weird

He thinksWhat’s happening? 

It’s not just your body shape that changes: hormonal changes can mean increased vaginal discharge and leaky boobs. ‘We had sex a month before Julie’s due date and her boobs started leaking a clear liquid,’ remembers Dev, 43. ‘I wasn’t turned off, but I worried something was wrong.’

Changes like this can freak men out because they often don’t know what’s going on, explains Petra. ‘You’ve read all the books and know your body inside out; he’s seeing it all from an outside view. Explaining what’s happening should stop him panicking.

‘As for increased discharge, most men don’t even notice. The few who do are surprised by the quantity of lubrication, not the smell or taste of it. Take advantage of this natural lubrication, which will allow you to experiment with different positions and make intercourse last even longer.’

4 You think He doesn’t seem to want sex any more

He thinks I don’t want to hurt her or the baby 

Men can go off sex for a number of reasons – and he’s often not turned off, he’s worried.

‘Once Kelly started to show she suddenly seemed very fragile and precious to me,’ says Gerard, 22. ‘I was still attracted to her, but I was worried sex might be dangerous. I kept thinking that she was going to go into labour, or I might somehow dislodge the baby. It got to the stage where I was afraid to have sex.’
There’s no need to worry. ‘The baby can’t tell what’s happening. She’s secure in your womb, protected by your cervix – your partner isn’t going to poke her with his willy,’ says Petra. ‘That said, there are a few circumstances when pregnant sex is not advised, such as if you’ve previously had a miscarriage or have placenta praevia. Talk to your GP or midwife if you’re unsure.’

 >> The man's guide to pregnant sex
>> Reader's tips on pregnant sex

5 You think He’ll go off with someone else now I’m not up for sex as much

He thinks It’s time for quality, not quantity 

Actually, many men welcome the change of pace that comes with pregnancy, as Gavin, 39, explains. ‘It took us 11 months to conceive and Michelle wouldn’t leave me alone. I had to do it three times in one day and I was exhausted! To be honest, one of the best things about finally getting pregnant was a break from that feeling of having sex to order.’

Petra says, ‘When trying to conceive, many couples get into a routine of having sex at the same time of the month. During pregnancy you’re free to make love when you choose, not when the calendar dictates. Now you can enjoy the spontaneity of sex when you don’t have to worry about contraception.’

6 You think Now I’m a mum I’m no longer his sexy lady

He thinks I’m not sure how to behave any more

Some men do struggle with their partner making the transition from lover to mother.
‘We used to have really hot, dirty sex,’ confesses Jamie, 22. ‘But now Charlotte’s pregnant, dirty talk and spanking don’t seem appropriate. I love and respect her so much more now she’s carrying my child, I’m just not sure how to approach sex.’
Reassure him you’re still the same person, says Rachel. ‘You might be just as randy as you were before – in fact, many women actually report a higher sex drive. Sharing fantasies now will strengthen your bond for the months after the birth when sex really will be off the menu.’

>> Pre labour relationship advice
>> Look good pregnant