Sanity Savers: How to tackle toddler pester power?

Sanity saving advice for mums and mums-to-be

You’re trying to rush through your supermarket shop when suddenly your tot spots that Dora the Explorer doll and won’t stop screaming till you buy it.

This constant nagging from children to buy them stuff is called ‘pester power’. And it’s seriously tempting to give in just to keep them quiet.

But if you always cave in, you’ll end up broke and with a truly spoilt brat on your hands. So while it’s nice to treat your child from time to time, here’s how to avoid becoming a walking cash machine…

1. Keep an eye on the TV
Advertisers are super-slick at targeting toddlers so make sure your child isn’t endlessly sat in front of the TV, exposed to all those adverts for toys or junk food.

2. Stay one step ahead
Plan your route around the shops before you leave the house. Do you really have to go down the toy aisle or past the chocolate shelf? Why stick temptation under your little one’s nose if you don’t have to.

3. Stick to your guns
Don’t give in just because your kid is having the Tantrum From Hell. Top educational psychologist Mallory Henson says: "If you give in to your child’s nagging they’ll learn that it doesn’t matter what you say, because as long as they keep on at you, you’ll give in eventually."

4. Don’t argue
Give your tot a brief reason why they can’t have what they want. So, something like: ‘If you have some chocolate now, you won’t want your dinner.’ But that’s it. Don’t get involved in an argument or try to negotiate, otherwise they’ll think you’re up for being swayed. 

Make like a stuck CD and calmly keep repeating your excuse. It’ll wear them down faster – trust us.

5. Ignore other shoppers
Yep, it’s truly shameful when your child goes into full-blown, head-banging tantrum mode and all the other customers gawp at you. But so what? You’re doing the best by your child by saying ‘No’, so what’s to feel bad about?

As Mallory says: "It’s worth putting up with a few tuts or stares in the short term. Imagine all the tuts you’ll get if you end up with a really spoilt, unappreciative
child."

6. Don’t use sweets as a reward
If you use sweets to reward him when he’s good your child will associate sweet stuff with being praised and feeling happy. And then they’ll be no end to the pestering. Reward them instead with a trip to the park or a big hug. It’s a lot cheaper.

7. Give them a choice
OK, so you’ve just refused to buy a jumbo-sized ice lolly. But why not whip your tot off to the fruit section instead and give them a choice of something they can have? So you could try: ‘Would you like a pear or apple?’ This will make your little one feel like they have some power after all and Mummy isn’t just that miserable old cow who always says ‘No’.

8. Remember what matters…
The best thing you can give your child is your love and attention. That’s worth more than all the flash super-gadgets put together.

9. Mum’s top tip
"I keep Aleesha occupied at the supermarket by playing silly games like seeing how many different fruits she can name. It doesn’t always work but, when it does, it’s a relief!"

10. Expert’s top tip
"Put your child in the seat in the supermarket trolley so if he does spot something he likes you can whizz past. Even if he does have a tantrum at least he can’t roll around on the floor!"
Rachel Waddilove, mum of three and author of ‘The Toddler Book’ (£7.99, Lion Hudson)